“The full reality of losing my mother began to sink in.
She is gone from this world forever.
I am never going to see her in this world again.
Life will never be the same without her.
The pain of losing a loved one never really goes away – it just gets easier to carry.
One night while I was alone and watching TV, I had a powerful after-death experience that lasted around an hour and did not involve any of my five senses. Suddenly and unexpectedly, my mother’s presence entered my room and my being. Her presence was so strong and lovely that I didn’t need any of my five senses to know she was there.”
~Marisa
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Before the inquest into Cindy’s death…and eight and a half months after her disappearance…my siblings and I took a trip to Africa…to Nairobi…to Mombasa (including snorkeling in the Indian Ocean)…to Lake Nakuru…even to Governor’s Camp near the Mara River.
We had an amazing adventure! (How could you not!)
Africa was a place I’d always dreamed of visiting…of going on safari…of taking pictures of wild animals…of experiencing life at a Maasai village…
Yes, I did it all!
Ever since I’d heard the song “Africa” that the rock band Toto had included on their 1982 album Toto IV, I knew I would travel to Africa one day.
I just had to! –I was enamored.
And when I recently heard the following rendition of “Africa” by the choir called Perpetuum Jazzile, I was immediately transported back to that awesome African adventure of 1990.
Those wonderful feelings of awe, adventure and excitement came flooding back…along with a sad remembrance that Cindy had only experienced Africa in our hearts.
There are songs that touch the soul—that help us heal.
“Africa” does that for me—It triggers tears…and joy.
My wish is that you find that special song or that piece of music that speaks healing volumes to your soul.
Here, now, I’d like to share Perpetuum Jazzile’s rendition of “Africa”.
The choir uses their hands to simulate an approaching thunderstorm. You’ll hear gentle rain in the beginning (so make sure your speakers are turned up) but that rain soon gets heavier, and finally the thunder appears when the choir members jump.
It’s fascinating and electric!
I hope you enjoy it.
The performance is six minutes and seventeen seconds long—and it’s worth every second!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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The impending death of a parent is a ‘big picture’ wakeup call.
As we watch our parents deteriorate physically, and maybe mentally, we think of ourselves and wonder what will happen to us as we age. And our roles change.
Sometimes they are the glue that holds a family together…a reason to get together for reunions…and when they are gone you can’t “go home” any more. It’s so important to keep the lines of communication open between you and your siblings so that the family lines don’t drift apart.
And when both parents die we become the older generation…more aware of our mortality.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Sandra Lewis Pringle wrote the poem “If I Could Catch A Rainbow” for her nephew who loved rainbows.
“It was written in a time that he had lost his mother, was feeling down, and I wanted to send him something that would cheer him up,” writes Sandra.
“Sometime later,” continues Sandra, “I entered this poem into a poetry contest with a greeting company. I did not win the contest, but later, this poem was released through the Internet, as a Hug Certificate, without my knowledge or permission. If you happen to see it come your way, without my name, please contact the party sending, and ask that they display proper credit. Many have claimed this poem, but it is mine.”
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you’re feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I’m finding
Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who’s always there.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Remember to always say what you mean.
And if you love someone, tell him or her because when you decide that it is the right time…it might be too late.
Go ahead…seize the day.
Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family. They’ve helped make you the person you are today.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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She was so very, very special
And was so from the start
You held her in your arms
But mainly in your heart
And like a single drop of rain
That on still waters fall,
Her life did ripples make
And touched the lives of all.
She’s gone to play with angels
In heaven up above
So keep your special memories
And treasure them with love.
Although your darling daughter
Was with you just a while
She’ll live on in your heart
With a sweet remembered smile.
~Author Unknown
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park.
Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad.
Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by.
She never tried to speak.
She never said a word.
Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.
The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there.
Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.
Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl.
For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone.
As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl’s dress.
It was grotesquely shaped.
I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.
Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different.
As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare.
As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly.
She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form.
I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk.
I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, “Hello.”
The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a “Hi” after a long stare into my eyes.
I smiled and she shyly smiled back.
We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty.
I asked the girl why she was so sad.
The little girl looked at me with a sad face and said, “Because, I’m Different.”
I immediately said, “That you are!” and smiled.
The little girl acted even sadder and said, “I know.”
“Little girl,” I said, “You remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent.”
She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, “Really?”
“Yes, you’re like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all the people walking by.”
She nodded her head yes, and smiled.
With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said, “I am.”
“I’m your Guardian Angel,”’ with a twinkle in her eye.
I was speechless — sure I was seeing things.
She said, “For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done.”
I got to my feet and said, “Wait. Why did no one stop to help an Angel?”
She looked at me, smiled, and said, “You’re the only one that could see me.” And then she was gone.
And with that, my life was changed dramatically.
So, when you think you’re all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.
~Author unknown
Like the story says, we all need someone…
And, every one of your friends is an angel in their own way.
The value of a friend is measured in the heart.
I hope your Guardian Angel watches over you always.
Thanks for passing this on to me Vera.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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My husband, the Canadian radio personality Wayne Kelly, interviewed a friend who was at Tuesday’s memorial service for Michael Jackson. Here is what she had to say about the experience:
[display_podcast]
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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I’m so glad yesterday’s memorial service for Michael Jackson included a rendition of Heal The World, the song he created while in his Giving Tree at the Neverland Ranch…a song he and David Foster produced and released in 1991!
Oh, if only we could all strive to make this world a better place for everyone!
Yes, there’s something good and amazing that happens when we are able to get our eyes off of our own pain and minister out to other people who are hurting—It brings a healing to our heart that could not be found any other way!
Plus, we feel a sense of interconnectedness.
We live in the goodness that is life.
And we feel peace.
Try giving a flower from your garden…passing on a good book you’ve finished…paying-it-forward…being a mentor…using your favorite hobby to fundraise for a good cause…giving hugs…making a wish…saying a prayer…apologizing…doing something to beautify your corner of the world…
And learn to smile and laugh (because humor disengages fear).
Above all, make peace with yourself and your life.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Last night it hit me again–For a moment I couldn’t believe MJ is dead.
It’s been fascinating seeing clips of his interviews, photos, and hearing stories from his friends (like about the Halloween night MJ danced while in full costume and people, not knowing who he was, asked, “Who is that great dancer?”).
This morning (like many people), I will be gathered around the TV to watch the memorial service for Michael Jackson being held at the Staples Arena in downtown Los Angeles.
Of all the concerts I’ve been to (and I’ve seen my fair share) MJ’s was by far the most electric and entertaining. I guess that’s why I can understand all the public interest now about him and the desire for people to be a part of his memorial.
No matter whether you still question his past actions with children (all that controversy — Did you hear Donald Trump last night? — he said there is no way Michael was a pedophile) you have to admit MJ was a talented artist.
Here, now, I can’t help but think back to last week’s MySpace Blog post by Lisa Marie Presley, written the day after Michael Jackson’s death:
“Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.
“I can’t recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.
“At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, ‘I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did.’
“I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.
“14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.
“A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.
“The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
“All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.
“I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.
“Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.
“I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.
“His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.
“At that time, in trying to save him, I almost lost myself.
“He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.
“When he used it for something good, it was the best and when he used it for something bad, it was really, REALLY bad.
“Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson’s being or actions.
“I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.
“I was in over my head while trying.
“I had my children to care for; I had to make a decision.
“The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.
“After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.
“Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.
“At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.
“As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.
“Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.
“He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.
“I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.
“He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.
“I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.
“The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.
“I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.”
~LMP
May you rest in peace Michael!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James