All it takes is 15 minutes a day—everyday, for however long is necessary.

And children don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks—they can write whatever comes to them because they don’t have to share it (until they are ready).

And they can throw spelling and grammar out the window—it’s the emotions that count now.

When children open themselves up and express their pain and grief on paper, they are able to release the emotions that are suffocating and depressing them. They begin to heal wounds. They begin to recover from grief.

Yes, there is a freedom in venting pain (and anger) through writing. (In another Blog I’ll talk about other art forms you can use to assist younger children experiencing grief.)

Today children use computers a lot. But grief writing is most helpful when that technology is shed and a child simply grabs a pencil or pen and writes in longhand . Words flow—it’s the quickest way for them to get their thoughts down on paper (unless they are super fast with typing), plus it mutes the editor in them! And there’s nothing quite like the feel of a writing instrument scratching the paper, or the smell of ink to foster a love of writing. And with the use of crayons or pencil crayons for associated artwork and picture making, your child may wonder why they never did this before.

And if they don’t know what to write, encourage them to write about the good times they had with their pet or loved one who passed away.

Ask them to write about the bad times…about the death…about the funeral.

Suggest they write a letter to their pet/loved one.

Let them know it’s OK to cry while they write…tell them to write through the tears. This is so very healing!

And let them know it helps if they start with, “I feel…” or “I remember…”

And if they want to write for more than 15 minutes, let them.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James