You can end up on a downward spiral and blame yourself for what happened, telling yourself you should have known (“Why didn’t I…” “If only…” “I should have…”). You think you let the person down and the guilt rips at you until you think it will destroy you.

So you start to abuse yourself – maybe by overeating or turning to alcohol or drugs, and you become depressed and want to die also – you just don’t care.

So you neglect your family and your job and you stop socializing. (And you hate yourself for what you are doing…but you feel so helpless to change anything!)

When you look in the mirror and see that empty look in your eyes and your mind wanders to suicide because you start to think that’s the only way to stop the pain, you realize you are scared…and you decide to seek out help.

Maybe you start by talking to a trusted friend.

Maybe you see a counselor.

Maybe you talk to a psychiatrist.

Maybe you join a support group.

It doesn’t really matter which route you go because the important thing is that you’ve decided you need to start living again…and you need help before it’s too late.

So you slowly talk about the pain, your failings, and your guilt … (like a flower opening up).

Maybe you go on medication. Maybe you don’t.

As the months and years pass you start to feel a bit better.

And one day it dawns on you that it really wasn’t your fault!

Still, there are days you struggle with your emotions (some days are better than others)—but you know you will be OK!

Yes, you will survive.

Please believe it!

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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