Through my struggle with the loss of my sister, Cindy, I learned so much about myself…

I became more aware of unhealthy, negative thoughts that I disliked within myself.

I used to believe that I was most often right about my viewpoints—now I truly understand that right VS wrong are subjective.

And I used to believe that if I could just say or do something the “right” way to get my message across, the other person would understand my viewpoint and change their thinking to accommodate my feelings. Now I know this can’t always happen because sometimes the other person isn’t ready to “see” my viewpoint.

And I’ve learned to be more understanding and tolerant of other people’s lack of change.

And one of the big changes for me:
Because I was afraid to be vulnerable and show any lack of control, it was scary for me to allow others to help me in any way because I thought that meant I was weak and couldn’t take care of myself. I didn’t like the idea of being vulnerable because I wondered if people would take advantage of me and secretly make fun of me for my weaknesses. But I learned to allow myself to take the risk of disclosing some of my needs. It didn’t mean I was weak—it meant I wanted or needed help outside of myself because I was tired or afraid or wanted somebody to show me they cared about me.

And I always used to secretly think that I was stupid because I wasn’t always perfect. Now I understand that I am good at some things and need to have more education about others.

Yes, I’ve learned so much from Cindy’s death.

“There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” – Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross –

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James