In my search for an answer to Cindy’s death, gathering facts of the death process helped me to find an understanding of death. I wanted to know:

What is it like?
What actually happens while I’m dying?
Does anybody really know?
How painful is it?
How does my body shut down in death?
When am “I” no longer “me” in my body?

Because I was given very little concrete information about Cindy’s death (since it was “under investigation” at the time), I really wanted to know if my sister died:

1) because her heart stopped, or
2) because she was in a coma and stopped breathing.

Did she struggle for breath as her body was shutting down?
Did she bleed to death?
Was she beaten?
Above all, was it painful—would she have suffered?
At what point did death occur?

And if Cindy had been lying outside for two weeks (as people speculated), what changes would have happened to her body as time went on? I believed that should have given a clue as to whether she was dumped or not! –But nobody seemed to be able to know for certain (or at least divulge before the inquest) whether Cindy’s body had lain outside for two weeks at the abandoned location where she was found. (The not knowing was so frustrating!!)

I had so many questions.

I was hungry for knowledge.

I voraciously read medical texts and took notes on putrefactive changes, and a month after we buried Cindy I wrote the following in my journal:

“I feel much more productive trying to understand what happened when she died.”

And then I continued to read for more answers!

Chances are you’ve probably wondered about the philosophical questions of what happens to you when you actually die. (Does it hurt? Is it easy to accept? Will I fight it? …)

All I know for sure is death is usually the result of a lack of oxygen to the brain…and without oxygen to the neurons there is no electrical activity. And when the brain no longer gets oxygenated blood, it starts to die…giving you about ten seconds before you lose consciousness (a feeling of calmness and tranquility).

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James