Today is the 10th anniversary of Sept 11th.
For some, having a memorial can make this a day of comfort…a day of healing—grief becomes a community event that generates strength.
For others it will be a day of pain…as memories, loaded with heavy emotions of losing a family member or friend, are placed directly in front of the person wishing to forget the pain.
And it’s not just memorials on and around anniversary dates that can cause painful reliving of events that someone might wish to keep buried and move away from. Faced with the choice of whether or not to read newspaper accounts of a tragedy that “hits too close to home”, a person may choose to avoid doing so because they haven’t dealt with their emotions…depending on how they’ve dealt with the death of a loved one and how long ago the tragedy happened. It’s called living with a pattern of avoidance – it’s much easier to NOT think about something and NOT talk about it or bury it, than it is to face the pain or the grief or the fear. In this instance recovery can get delayed.
For some, expressing the death and drawing others into their world of grief can be extremely comforting for a survivor – it opens up the world around them and helps them feel less isolated about the tragedy.
It’s a way of saying, “Hey world, my beloved was important…s/he lived…and will not be forgotten…ever!!”
When faced with a reminder of tragedy, experiencing pain is normal. And it can lead to greater healing.
We all grieve in our own way.
How do you deal with your grief?
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
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