Your life energy is yours to spend in whichever way you choose. You are free to make choices.

Even within grief you are free to make choices:

“Today will I direct my energy and thoughts to those still alive or will I spend my time absorbed in my own thoughts and feelings about my beloved who died?”

“Today will I express my needs, or will I keep them to myself?”

“Today will I give thanks and express gratitude, or will I choose to not see my blessings?”

“Today will I look at the pretty spring flowers pushing their way out of the soil or will I stare right through them and not see them because I am thinking about something else?”

…

Will you choose to spend your day saying, “I can’t” or “I need to” or “I have to” and not realize that many times those are actually choices?

Sometimes you don’t have choices when events happen. When my sister Cindy disappeared unexpectedly and died mysteriously, I couldn’t control it. It had happened. I couldn’t change that fact as much as I would have wished to!

But I did have some choices as to the way I responded to what happened. When she disappeared I could have tried to arrange for time off work and gone to Vancouver to look for her—but I chose not to. Instead I waited, and I hoped, and I wondered if she was in hiding from her tormentor. And when her body was found I could have immediately flown to Vancouver to be with my family of origin but instead I held off for a day so that I could gather strength…I missed out on family time but I gained something else.

There are consequences to our choosing not to do something just as there are consequences for our choices to do something!

Are you operating from a position of being a victim of your circumstances?

Have you given up your energy, your passion and your power?

Are you taking the responsibility for your choices?

Do you have to do something or are you choosing to do it?

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James