It is with such deep sadness that I write this post.
Today a local teen has passed away from a car accident and his two friends, also in the accident, are in critical condition.
And for them, grad was only a few months away.
I am a mother of two teens…and this tragedy has struck close to home. My son is only one year younger than those boys…and he knew them.
I’m seeing a lot of grieving teens in the community. Please know you are supported.
And here are a few thoughts for parents at this time:

I’m reminding everyone to listen closely when your teen is talking.
And watch his/her behavior. (You want to be alert for any potential self-destructive and reckless behavior as a result of grief.)
By listening and watching, you will find opportunities to help your grieving teen.
Don’t force a teen to talk about feelings…if the teen feels comfortable with you and realizes you are willing to really listen, s/he will talk when ready.
So please make the time to listen to a teen who wants to talk…and give him/her your undivided attention. By doing this, you are sending the message that the teen is important and that grieving is important.
It isn’t surprising to hear that the high school students who are several years younger than the injured teens, and therefore didn’t know them, are also overcome with grief and crying in the school hallways. Their emotions and thoughts are surfacing as a result of the tragedy and they are still learning how to process the accident and death. For adolescents who have little experience with trauma, death, pain, or stress, this will be the first time they experience the overwhelming emotions related with grief.  This can be frightening and many don’t have the self-awareness to know what types of coping strategies will help.
While sadness and crying may be an expression of grief for one teen, another may respond with humor and laughter.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to deal with death. It is a different experience for everybody.
Be patient.
Be available.
Be open-minded.
Validate their feelings…don’t minimize them.
Be prepared for mood swings.
And help brainstorm coping strategies based on their personalities.

I’m so proud of my son. He has consoled other students using hugs. And he’s made himself available to listen…or be a shoulder to cry on…or like right now, just “hang out” with those who need it.
I was brought to tears with this tragedy. Such young lives involved.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
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