Before I continue to share more changes you can expect in a dying loved one, let me just say that when moments are quickly disappearing, a gift the dying make to the living is, “Enjoy the moment.”

Yes, never is it more apparent to us that we must enjoy the time we have (the time we ourselves have left to live AND the brief time remaining with a loved one), then when we are spending the last moments with the dying.

It is a time we show our love in simple ways (with the tenderness of touch) instead of simply feeling it—we must show it.

The distractions of life are stripped away and we truly see (sometimes for the first time) how we are meant to live life—to the heights and depths of our beings!

When you sit with a dying person you truly understand how life is a wondrous glorious gift. Death is the shadow that illuminates the light of this gift, giving it intensity and meaning.

All that you may have avoided facing and dealing with in your life can come bubbling up during this journey of bereavement. Knowing that you will die one day, that your loved ones will also die, makes you aware of unresolved pain and estrangement and gives you the gift of reconciliation.

It’s never too late to say, “I am sorry.”

It’s never too late to say, “I love you.”

It’s never too late to say, “I forgive you.”

And sometimes it isn’t too late to ask that question that is tormenting you.

So take the time to learn the lessons of death.

Reach out in love to yourself and to those around you.

Live the life you were born to live…while there is still time!

Love to very core of your being and pour it out to the world in all that you do and say and think.

Hug harder.

Laugh often, and speak words of love more often too.

A passionate life of wonderful fulfillment is the gift of death…if you would only embrace it!

Yes, when you sit with the dying you learn what it is to be more generous, to be kinder, sweeter, and more loving towards people—to focus on living and caring and being connected and choosing happiness.

So take those last moments as an opportunity for final visits…for a legacy to be fulfilled…a time for the gift of storytelling among family…while there is still time.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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