Have you heard the following simplistic concept?:

“You must bloom where you are planted.” (In other words, grow a life.)

What does that mean to you, when you think about your grief journey?

Does it mean “grow and become all that you can be, no matter where you find yourself on life’s journey?”

And in mourning, are you ever at a place when you’re ready to embrace that concept?

Do you ever say to yourself, “I’m looking for something better…for better circumstances…because there has to be more than all this despair…but how do I find it…what do I have to do…where do I go to get it?”

Well according to the above concept, there is nothing better for you to run to…only because you have to make it better where you are!

When you become better, things get better.

Things don’t make you. There is no magical place to run away to.

Happiness is a state of mind. Remember this.

Life is full of challenges and change is a certainty. You can never recapture things as they were. Things are not the same…and never will be.

So what do you do with where you are left now? The past is just that, the past. Eventually you need to learn how to let it go…but only when you are ready!

Maybe circumstances beyond your control have left you feeling discouraged…hopeless…worthless…unhappy…depressed…scared…in despair, and so on. Are you searching in your heart and in your soul for something that isn’t with you any more? Maybe you feel like giving up on being here…and you desperately want things to be different.

You have every reason in the world to feel as you do. But just know you will remain stuck until you can let go of the past, move forward and make a conscience effort to be happy, right where you are, in your life.

And that doesn’t mean you have to do it right now…but at some point you’ll want to do it because you’ll be ready. You’ll be tired of staying in the same place. You’ll yearn for things to be better. You’ll decide it’s time to put out the effort.

Once you’ve let go of what you cannot change and realize that things never remain the same, you’ll move forward.

You’ll get out…you’ll go places.

It can be scary because you feel you are giving up your cherished dreams, your wishes, and your desire of having your deceased with you.

It’s not easy but you must make an attempt to bloom where you’re planted.

Put the talents and skills you have been blessed with, and the knowledge you have learned, into action…no matter how small your first step is.

Get up tomorrow, realizing it’s a new day and a new you, and cultivate yourself. You will begin to bloom…and beautiful, unexpected things can happen.

And always remember it’s OK to accept guidance and help along the way.

And here’s another thought…if you plant a living memorial to your deceased beloved, you can watch it grow and bloom…and your loved one will be with you.

So when you are ready, unfold delicately, yet fully, into the space in which you find yourself…and listen to your inner voice. It will guide you to your next step.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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