One minute I was laughing, well smiling at least, feeling a connection to my family, and the next minute I was in tears and escaping outside to try and breathe, overwhelmed with grief and just wanting my sister Cindy to be with us again. Please, just one more time, I pleaded to the universe—just for a few minutes longer. I held tight to the railing around her deck and sobbed until my mother found me and cried with me. I just wanted Cindy back…if only for a few moments…if only!

The above is a common desire for anyone in grief.

So I have to ask…if you could have your spouse/partner/significant other/beloved back with you, in good health, for one hour, how would you spend the time?

—Getting a BIG hug (one where you stand there and hug each other so tight) to last you after your hour was gone?

—Spending the whole hour in whatever way s/he would select?

—Hearing the laugh and the voice and seeing the smile you miss so much?

—Sitting at home and looking into those eyes and saying “I Love you” one more time and knowing s/he heard it?

—Using part of the time to introduce him/her to new family members?

—Asking, “What happened?” or “What’s it like now?”

—Saying, “Thank you for….”

I’d really like to know. 

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James