“Some people may not realize this, but many of us seem to be doing much better on the outside than we are on the inside. I, for one, am tired of people saying, ‘You are doing so well with getting on with your life.’

“If they only knew what a wreck I am on the inside since my daughter died!

“I recently tried to take the next step in my grief and go to dinner with someone other than my spouse. But with all the stress I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown! So I called and said I couldn’t go.

“People look at me and say, ‘You look good,’ or they phone me up and say, ‘You sound great.’

“Sure, that’s the way I look or sound on the outside! But on the inside my heart just isn’t into much of anything! My heart is bleeding…it’s aching so bad!

“If they only knew the truth.

“What I suffer most is the loneliness…loneliness all the time. There was this dreadful loneliness during the recent Christmas holidays. And the thought of my daughter’s upcoming birthday, or the anniversary of her death…well those events, and so many other holidays, are going to bring back excruciating feelings again.

“I know everything will get easier…but I also know nothing will ever be the same.”

~Brianne

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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