On Tuesday a sentencing hearing will begin for Robert “Willie” Pickton, the man who was recently convicted of second-degree murder of the six women whose butchered remains were found on his pig farm. That verdict will certainly help the family move forward as they continue to grieve. And so will the victim impact statements they give.

A sister to one of Pickton’s victims said Pickton still has a lot to answer for. She said she would be in court on Tuesday to give her VI statement. “I think he deserves to hear all our pain,” she said. “Even if he doesn’t feel anything, at least we’ve got our pain out and it’s our way of beginning to heal. We’ve got to do this.”

Sometimes when you grieve you just need to see things through, and tolerate the slow grind of justice.

For this sister, no Christmas or birthday will ever be the same again—Life will never be the same. A sister will be missed forever.

Grieving for a murdered person may be a very difficult process. Often surviving family members and friends are tormented by thoughts of their loved one’s last minutes on earth, “How much did my loved one suffer?” (I know I went through those tortuous thoughts and I didn’t even know whether my sister had been murdered or had committed suicide.)

To those people I say, “Be patient, as it will take some time. Be aware you may feel anger at the murderer (and at a lot of people, even at yourself)—it’s OK to express it. Call someone if you need to talk.

Don’t be afraid to cry.

Give yourself time—you will never be the same again but you will go beyond just surviving!

In my personal journey, I have come to know others who have lost loved ones to murder. Over time, I have realized that those who work through the grief and move beyond the negative emotions are the ones who receive true relief from their pain and suffering.

It’s definitely not easy but you can do it! Just take one day at a time.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
The unsolved mystery of the death of Cindy James