Maryland homemaker Mary Frye loved to write poetry for her own enjoyment…and to uplift the spirits of her friends, especially Margaret Schwarzkopf, a German Jewish woman, who was Mary’s closest friend.
In the 1930’s Margaret felt unable to visit her dying mother in Germany due to the anti-Semitic feeling at home. This led to Margaret’s tearful comment to Mary Frye, after a shopping trip, to say that she had been denied the chance to “stand at my mother’s grave and say goodbye.” This prompt caused Mary Frye to write a poem there and then on a piece of paper torn from a brown paper shopping bag, on her kitchen table, while her distressed friend was upstairs. Mary Frye said the poem simply “came to her.”

Here is the original version of Mary Frye’s poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

~’attributed to Mary E Frye, 1932′

Friends of the Schwarzkopf family arranged for a postcard or similar card to be printed featuring the poem, eventually leading to the verse being passed from person to person (and altered over time, with various people claiming authorship). Here is the version of Mary Fry’s poem as it was printed after Mary gave it to her friend, Margaret:

And here is yet another variation of Mary’s poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the snow on the mountain’s rim,
I am the laughter in children’s eyes,
I am the sand at the water’s edge,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain,
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the star that shines at night,
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

~Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-2004)

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James