Sometimes when a stranger commits suicide and you accidentally see it, you can be haunted with an image of the death act and what the person looked like as they did it—it can create a lasting emotional effect on you (it can effect your self esteem and self worth) and it can create physical symptoms within you (pain).
It makes it even more difficult if you don’t know much about what happened or why it happened and you are unable to find more information or answers.
You may be gripped by a morbid curiosity.
You may get so upset and disturbed that you vomit.
You may even live in denial, thinking what you witnessed hasn’t affected you at all.
It is normal to feel complete numbness and shaky and weak and in shock for days.
It’s OK to talk about “it” (adopting a mentality of silence can create further problems) knowing that your personal beliefs and values have been shattered.
Develop a perspective on your loss that you can live with. If you like to write, you can try opening the floodgates by writing a poem (including your feelings) or a letter to the person who died.
If your thoughts interfere with your daily functioning, seek out a trustworthy friend or a support group or a professional to talk with.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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