For parents, the death of a child is probably the most painful loss imaginable.

For parents who’ve lost a child to suicide, the pain and grief may be intensified. Although these feelings may never completely go away, survivors of suicide can take steps to begin the healing process:

Maintain contact with others. Suicide can be a very isolating experience for surviving family members because friends often don’t know what to say or how to help. Seek out supportive people to talk with about your child and your feelings. If those around you seem uncomfortable about reaching out, initiate the conversation and ask for their help.

Remember that your other family members are grieving, too, and that everyone expresses grief in their own way. Your other children, in particular, may try to deal with their pain alone so as not to burden you with additional worries. Be there for each other through the tears, anger, and silences — and, if necessary, seek help and support together.

Understand that it’s normal to feel guilty and to question how this could have happened, but it’s also important to realize that you may never get the answers you are looking for. The healing that takes place over time comes from reaching a point of forgiveness — for both your child and yourself.

Counseling and support groups can play a tremendous role in helping you to realize you are not alone.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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