I have to admit I felt very disturbed after the Pickton verdict came out this week.
I’ve been following that case for some time for two reasons:
- Because my sister, Cindy James, had once mentioned she came in contact with a prostitute who was afraid for her life—one of Pickton’s targets (?) I’ve wondered.
- And, because about five months after Cindy’s death (before I had details about what had happened to her) I had asked a private investigator (hired by the BC’s Coroner’s Service to investigate Cindy’s death and prepare material for the inquest) whether Cindy’s death was connected to the disappearances and deaths in the Vancouver area (later investigated as the Pig Farm deaths).
So, in a way, I’ve felt a connection to the Pickton deaths.
Anyway, as much as I was happy for the family members of Pickton’s victims when the verdict was read, I was also struck with anxiety and emotion that I couldn’t put my finger on. That night I broke down in tears and realized that it was that familiar feeling of “unknowing” that was smothering me.
Here I am…someone whose gone through anguish and grief and healing and am helping others through those things as well…and I’ve been hit in the heart once again. Goes to show you that grief reactions can resurface years later and at unexpected times.
At the core of my anguish this time is the thought, “If only my family had been given an answer in 1990 at the end of the inquest instead of the jury deliberating for three hours and then coming back with a verdict of undetermined.” The finding of undetermined meant that, based on the information presented, Cindy died as a result of an unknown event. “My god how was my family supposed to have closure,” I had wondered at the time.
At least the families of six of Pickton’s victims can have closure. I worry about the families of the remaining 20 victims. Will Pickton stand trial for those alleged murders? Or will those family members be left in limbo because society doesn’t want to pay the tab for another trial? I think it’s so important for family members to have an answer—to have closure!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the death of Cindy James