Here is the answer to the third question in my series of six questions:

Because each of us has a unique personality and a unique set of personal experiences to draw from, we all deal with grief differently. So there is no “right way” or “wrong way” to cope!

We need to respect the different grieving styles among us.

And just because your culture may be different than mine, it doesn’t mean one of us is “wrong” in how we grieve.

Here in North America it is culturally acceptable to talk about what we are going through, to express our emotions (although that is not always easy for some people) and to seek out external support. In fact, it is believed that the amount of support you receive is proportionate to the impact of grief.

You need to know you will survive your experience.

You may intuitively know what you need, in order to help yourself, but if you feel judged (by others who are unfamiliar with grief, or who are going through a different phase than you, and think something you are feeling…like anger, rage, guilt, remorse…or something you are doing…like “taking too long”…is unacceptable) you can become inhibited. 

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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