The fifth question in my series of six questions asks you what some of the behaviors associated with grief are.

The following behaviors are common after a loss and usually correct themselves over time (and not all will be experienced by one person):

Crying spells

Sighing

Avoiding reminders of the deceased (places or things that trigger painful feelings; be aware that quickly getting rid of reminders of the deceased can stem from a conflicted relationship with the deceased and can lead to complicated grief)

Visiting places or carrying objects that remind you of the deceased (this comes from a fear of losing memories of your beloved, and can give reassurance and comfort)

Insomnia/difficulty going to sleep/ early morning awakening (sleep disorders can symbolize fears—fear of dreaming, fear of not awakening, fear of being alone in bed…)

Restlessness/overactivity (because you can’t stand to be alone)

Loss of energy

Social withdrawal (including losing interest in watching TV and reading newspapers)

Absentmindedness

A depressed mood

Appetite disturbances (overeating, but more commonly described is undereating)

A yearning for the deceased

Developing traits of the deceased in your own behavior

Treasuring objects that belonged to your beloved

Searching and calling out (can lead to you misidentifying others…you get glimpses of people who remind you of your beloved and for a brief time you think/wish/hope that person is your beloved) 

Dreaming of the deceased (normal dreams, distressing dreams and nightmares; can be utilized to give you, the dreamer, insight and permission to shed guilt, anxiety and other distressing emotions)

…

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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