Whether an anticipated death like that of Farrah Fawcett who’s battle with cancer was shared with millions of people on May 15, 2009 in a two-hour documentary called Farrah’s Story, or the personal battle of a close family member, or a sudden death like Cindy’s or Larry’s, or the grief of something intangible, none are easy.
Sometimes you think you’re recovering from one loss (or at least learning to deal with it) and then another death or loss happens and it throws you for a huge loop.
You’re thinking, “Okay, I’ve got it together now, things will be alright, I WILL survive.”
Then, WHAM, you lose someone else or your pet dies or you lose your job or you lose your house or a family member has an accident or gets ill…and it feels like someone pulled the rug out from under you.
You’re in grief overload.
At times like this it’s common for the pain from a previous death or loss to come back to the surface. I think we all carry our experiences with death onto and into the loss of our next loss we suffer, and it stirs emotions long forgotten.
The pain from one death has come back to the surface. And now you’re grieving your first loss all over again.
This is normal.
Some days are easier than others. For some people it helps to stay busy.
Lean on people you love…and who love you. It’s soooo important to have a support system—to build meaningful connections.
Keep sharing about your beloved. Talk about your feelings.
You MUST take care of yourself, especially your health, because the depth of sadness really can impact your health.
Being around people that understand what you are going through helps a great deal. That’s why bereavement support groups are so helpful.
Try Googling for grief message boards, and sharing your story of loss and pain with others in cyberspace. There are so many people with such wonderful ideas for coping. It’s a goldmine for support from people who really do empathize.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James