The unexpected and accidental death of this popular TV conservationist (who was killed by a stingray’s poisonous barb this morning while filming) is such a shock! My heart goes out to his family.
To lose a loved one without warning is excruciating – it doesn’t matter if it is an accident or a suicide or a murder. To suddenly not have that person in your life anymore is mind numbing. You are left with so much you want to say – need to say. “Goodbye,” for one. “I love you,” for another. You feel robbed of growing old with that person and robbed of creating more memories together. It feels like such a rotten deal and hurts almost too much to bear. You just want them back – want to hug them again – see them smile or laugh, or even cry once again.
You CAN survive the shock and intense mixed feelings of losing someone, and you CAN put yourself in touch with your grief and allow yourself to address it.
Later, when you are ready, one of the ways to heal yourself through grief is to allow your thoughts to revisit your memories and your experiences. If you’ve recently experienced a loss you could write about it, or write about your remembrances with the deceased. Or if writing isn’t suited to your personality, perhaps talking into a tape recorder is, or speaking with someone you trust. All of these can be beautiful releases. Allow yourself to go into as much detail as you possibly can. You might be surprised at how difficult this undertaking is. It’s an emotional and painful process with rich rewards. I promise!
You could start with, “How did I feel when I heard the news?” or “What was left unsaid?”
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend –
The unsolved mystery of the death of Cindy James