It was getting near Christmas and I had delayed putting up a Christmas tree because this had been the first Christmas without our son. He had passed on to be with the Lord a few months before due to having leukemia. During his illness we would talk and he always told me he did not want me to be sad when he passed away and I promised him that I would try really hard not to be sad.

I was doing ok with it until Christmas came near and then I fell apart because he had always enjoyed the holidays so much. He had a way of making Christmas so special to so many people and fun too. So when that first Christmas came around without him I had decided not to put up a tree at all, but the closer it got to Christmas I just felt something inside me telling to put one up. So my husband and I went and bought a tree.

When we began to decorate it I just fell apart because I felt so sad that our son was not there with me. I tried not to cry but I did anyway as I was getting the decorations out the box I had them stored in. I put them on the tree one by one and then I came to a very special ornament that my son gave me the year before, a glass icicle with a gold string on it. He had it all wrapped in a pretty box when he gave it to me and said to me these words which I will never forget, “Mom, I wished I could have gotten you something more but I just don’t have the money this year to buy much.” I gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, “That’s OK son, I understand.” I opened the gift and there was the most beautiful glass tree ornament I have ever seen, not an expensive one either, but one given with love. He and I hung it on the tree that year, and that was our last Christmas together.

Well when I came across that tree ornament tears fell from my eyes as I remembered my son. I hung the ornament on the tree as tears fell from my eyes and for a brief moment I felt his hand on mine as I hung it on the tree and felt his present there with me and then I began smelling the sweetest scent I have ever smelled. I cannot even describe what it smelled like but it was a sweet beautiful smell. I know in my heart that my son had visited me and helped me hang the tree ornament he had given me.

I know now too that he is always with me and the love goes on forever. That small, cheap gift he gave to me was the most precious gift in the world to me, it means more to me than all the expensive gifts in this world. It was a gift given with love and nothing in this world could ever top that. So every year since, I have made it a special moment when I hang the ornament on our tree because I know he is there to with me helping me to hang it in just the right place on the tree.

~Mary Nappier

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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