There may be times you want to help a relative or friend who is grieving…but perhaps you don’t know how.

Here is a list of suggestions.

–You could help make phone calls: to relatives and friends, to the doctor or lawyer or accountant, to a child’s school, to a place of employment, to the funeral director, to the social security officer, to a bank or credit union, to the insurance agent…

–You could help with tasks of writing: answering correspondence including letters of condolence, maintaining a list of who has phoned and who wrote notes and who brought gifts…

—You could accompany the bereaved: on professional visits (doctor, lawyer, accountant), for shopping, for errands, to the funeral home, to the cemetery…

—You could help with the car and transportation: transport children to school and activities, act as chauffer for the bereaved family member or friend, take their car in for servicing if it’s needed, help out-of-town guests get to the funeral…

–You could care for the yard: shovel snow, mow the lawn, water the lawn, do gardening…

–You could house sit: during the funeral, if the bereaved needs to leave town…

–You could help with clothing: take care of laundry at your house or theirs, loan clothes for the funeral, deliver and pick up dry cleaning…

–You could help with the bereaved’s children: provide transportation to school, offer to baby-sit, read a story, help with homework, take the child/ren with you when you shop for groceries, offer to take the child/ren with you when your family goes to a movie or to the library or to the park or on other outings…   

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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