The elderly are often seen as a nuisance to treat in the hospital because (and I’ll quote something I recently heard in emergency after an elderly gentleman was sent there by ambulance from his care facility), “There are other people who stand a better chance than him and are in greater need [pointing to a lady with a broken hip]—he’s going to die anyway—there isn’t anything I can do for him to change his outcome. So what do you want me to do [said in exasperation with the doc’s arms coming up at his sides]?”

“I understand how frustrating it is to deal with an old man with dementia [who is a fall risk and is desperately trying to get out of his emergency room bed and won’t let anyone touch him except me],” I said.

“And I can understand how overworked you are right now [since, as the doc pointed out, some people were still waiting…after 7 or 8 hours…for the doctor to see them] but could you please help him and not just send him back to his care home without doing something to alleviate his pain—make him more comfortable—find out what is wrong!”

That’s all I was asking for.

(The care facility had sent him to the hospital in the first place because he’d had diarrhea for 24 hours and, being unable to consume enough fluids, he was very dehydrated.)

The elderly fellow certainly didn’t want to die in the hospital and the intention was to send him “home” to die, but he deserved to be treated with dignity and compassion and made to feel comfortable.

The doctor returned a few minutes later and apologized, saying, “I personally promise you I’ll make sure he is taken of and not sent back until we take care of his current problem.”

So an x-ray was taken and an IV line was started (after three attempts because the elderly man was so dehydrated) and the problem was clarified and treated and four days later, after the problem improved as best as possible, the elderly gentleman was returned to his care home and everyone was told, “This will be an ongoing problem for him and everyone will have to understand that he is declining.

(We could expect him to have even more of an aversion to foods and beverages, a continuing loss of control over bodily functions and problems with his bowel, altered cycles…catnaps…more time spent sleeping, a greater degree of inability to mobilize, requiring assistance to eat….)

Don’t you think the elderly deserve compassion, dignity and comfort?

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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