No matter whom you listen to for the story of Cindy James, one thing is clear. Her premature death was preventable.

If only her family, her friends, her co-workers, and the social support services and institutions pulled into Cindy’s world had dug a little deeper. … To my knowledge, nobody had the whole story. And the saddest thing is that whatever information most people had—well, they neglected to share it freely in time to help her. I suspect, since privacy is sacred, people wanted to be respectful of Cindy’s’ rights as an adult.

But do we collectively shoulder the blame for her demise?

There are so many “if only’s” …

If only forensic science had been more advanced in Cindy’s time so that the police had tested the cigarette butts found after her attacks, the foreign hairs on her body, and the saliva on the licked envelopes that encased the threatening letters and notes.

If only people who dealt with her (police, psychotherapists, etc.) had done their job efficiently instead of falling back on gut feelings and resorting to rudeness, belittlement, ridicule, tampering with evidence, and implying disbelief.

If only secrets had not been kept in my family.

If only her ex-husband had not been banished.

If only people had told the truth instead of hiding behind silence, lies, half-truths and manipulation, whether out of ignorance or deliberate deception.

If only Cindy had talked.

If only (and I have a lot more) … But you can’t live with ‘if only’s’.

In my next Blog I’ll talk about the biggest “if only” in my mind…

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the death of Cindy James