Terminally ill patients often see or talk to someone who has already died, have glimpses of “another world” or have feelings of being in “another place”.  This may happen several weeks before death.  Usually the dreams or feeling are comforting, but sometimes they create anxieties about mental dysfunction.  You need to provide reassurance that such experiences are normal, and respond in an accepting way to whatever they see or hear.

And the terminally ill often share communications about going home, standing in line, or going on a trip—references to their desire to complete the dying process. Simply ask them to repeat statements you don’t understand.

Sometimes those who are dying want family members to give them permission to leave.

And sometimes the dying person waits to die until after they’ve had a chance to visit with a special family member. 

On other occasions they may wait until a loved one has left the room.  Very private people may actually prefer to die alone.

On most occasions terminally ill patients seem to know when they are going to die, even when no one else sees any signs of rapidly approaching death.  Patients may call a loved one in the morning to say good-bye, knowing death will have occurred before the next visit.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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