At the time my sister (Cindy James) died and her body was found (on this day twenty-one years ago), it seemed that some of my family members weren’t sharing the same sorrow that I felt, or at least they weren’t showing it the same way.

But, I now realize, none of us were ever psychologically at the same place at the same time because our experiences, personalities, expectations, and needs were different. Everybody was grieving in his or her own way, and according to Hospice none of it was right or wrong. It just was what it was.

And while compiling my book, I realized family members had different knowledge and beliefs about Cindy’s harassment, and that colored each of our ways of grieving.

I have learned it is so easy to be judgmental of others, yet so necessary to be respectful of their personal journeys and choices of coping.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James