As I promised in my last Blog, here are a few helpful ideas about saying goodbye. You could:

1. Write a letter (or a note, a wish, a prayer, a poem) to affirm the powerful emotions of love, longing and gratitude, and release feelings of sorrow, anger, regret and guilt and then burn it. Watch the smoke rise heavenward. (I wrote A LOT! But I saved most of what I wrote because I found the expression of feelings and thoughts itself was such a beautiful release. –You could keep a journal.)
2. Release a latex (bio-degradable) helium balloon that represents what you are grieving about and “letting go of.” (Helium is non-toxic and non-flammable, and has no harmful effects on the earth’s atmosphere.)
3. Seal your anguish in a healing box and bury it as you release your feelings. (This works really well for children…they love making a box and burying it. –I’ll talk more about treasure boxes and healing boxes in another Blog.)
4. Blow real bubbles—Visualize yourself letting go of the pain as bubbles float into the air and pop. (I love this ritual…I find it also works well to use a power meditation, or guided visualization, to envision the bubbles floating and popping.)
5. Express your emotions in a “vesuvius”—I’ll explain that eruption ritual in another Blog. (This ritual is great if you have a lot of anger.)
6. Find ways to honor your loved one and her/his life. (My sister loved plants and gardening so I nourished houseplants, landscaped the yard and made a garden.) You could plant a living memorial (tree, bush, shrub, garden) or put her/his picture on the wall, etc.—whatever ritual also expresses the person’s character.

Letting go (when you are ready) has such rich rewards, like forgiveness. And you will receive the gift of realizing that your loved one is not gone forever because she “comes back to you” in memories (and sometimes dreams). And NOBODY can take those away!

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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