Did you know during those years before her death the true extent of the torture she was going through?
~Ken MacQueen, Maclean’s magazine (question to Melanie Hack)

No. I had not known just how much pain she was enduring at the time it was happening. Over the years I was only given enough sketchy details of her harassment to make me wonder what was really going on…I had only had bits and pieces of details.

For example:

I accidentally found out she had been almost murdered in her driveway in October 1988… when I called Cindy about something else. On the phone Cindy had said she wanted to lie and pretend all was well in her life but had ended up telling me she had been attacked and how she thought she had been sexually violated and feared her mental functioning had diminished because of a lack of oxygen during this and previous attacks. That was all she would tell me.

Cindy did not want to talk about it. Sharing information about her harassment was extremely difficult for Cindy; she was very selective about what she shared. And I was reluctant to ask her for details because she would say, “Do you really want me to tell you? The details are too horrible. I’d have to relive it all again.” I would feel ashamed and guilty for asking, so over the years I had learned to wait for her to come to me with details and feelings. Whenever anything happened, I just wanted to know she was OK, to support her in the only way I knew how, with hugs and verbal reassurances. Whenever she did divulge her private life, I always had the belief she was telling me the truth.

My Mom mentioned she had been present when the police interviewed Cindy at the end of that October. She said Cindy had been very emotional and Mom felt the police were questioning Cindy in a way that implied she was behind her own harassment. Mom had felt angry and believed the police were pushing Cindy too hard and too soon for answers—Cindy had still been raw from the assault. Yet Mom also said the police had indicated the October attack would without a doubt have been considered a murder if Cindy had died.

Coming soon…“People who knew her always felt she was holding information back. If it was true, why do you think she did that?”
~Ken MacQueen, Maclean’s magazine

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

What inspired you to explore the circumstances of your sister’s death all these years later?
~Ken MacQueen, Maclean’s magazine (question to Melanie Hack)

I had no closure after the inquest…the verdict was undetermined. I was deep in grief and needed an answer. I realized not all of the facts had been presented at the inquest—and some that were presented were incorrect or incomplete. I spent years going over all the police and medical files plus Cindy’s writings, looking for missed information.

I found new material – like the receipt for the groceries she purchased on the day she died. Police never found that receipt, speculating she’d purchased the nylon stockings wrapped around her neck at death. The receipt shows she didn’t…and shows where she purchased the groceries. It wasn’t where the police thought she had. It was confusing and hurtful to think there was so much more to the story than what everyone knew. I’ve always tried to be open-minded about the possibilities of what really happened. Was it suicide, assisted suicide or murder?

There were theories and speculation supporting both notions of suicide and murder being thrown around and amplified in the media for years—at the inquest, in magazines, in books and on TV shows but I wanted to find proof of any kind that could solve this mystery.
~Melanie Hack

Coming soon…”Did you know during those years before her death the true extent of the torture she was going through?”
~Ken MacQueen, Maclean’s magazine

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Last August Ken MacQueen interviewed me for an article that was published in Maclean’s magazine—Canada’s Greatest Unsolved Mysteries…a special edition that came out before the end of 2013.

The magazine contained an article about my sister’s unsolved case, Cindy James, and I’m very grateful for the exposure. You see, some of my siblings and I discussed the fact that we’d really like to know whether a police file having DNA from Cindy’s case is still available for analysis:

–The licked envelopes from the threatening letters she received

–The foreign hairs found on her body

–Cigarette butts

Surely today’s technology could give us more information!

What do we need to do to have that DNA tested?

Does the case have to become a cold case?

Thank you so much to those of you who have contacted me as a result of the Maclean’s article.

I know there are still many unanswered questions regarding Cindy’s case…and some confusion about incorrect details floating around from various sources.

So I thought I would publish some Blog posts over the next little while, having some of Ken’s questions and my full answers that were never published.

Coming soon…“What inspired you to explore the circumstances of your sister’s death all these years later?”

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Having experienced the recent two-year anniversary of my mother’s death (on January 13^th), I’ve realized how grateful I am for having been able to be with her as she passed from this life to the next. Reflecting on those final days and hours with her, I feel honored to be blessed with a deep inner peace as a result of what we shared. Yes, seeing and experiencing the peace and tranquility she exuded during her final moments, brought me a deeper, inner peace about passing from one life into another.

A few days ago a friend and I were talking together about what we think happens after death.

Obviously we can only speculate.

But for me, the mystery and fears about dying evaporated as I contemplated that just as we rejoice and celebrate the birth of a new child into our world and lives, perhaps death is but a birthing process from one life into another.

You have to admit it is a possibility.

Anyway, I was…and still am…so grateful and honoured to have seen Mom go from a state of confusion with Alzheimer’s, to a sweet, beautiful state of feeling loved and peaceful!

I am thankful for the great and profound honour to be present during one of the most powerful moments in life…and death.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

LET me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me in the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of the quiet river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit. Though the world know me not, may my thoughts and actions be such as shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the stars. Forbid that I should judge others, lest I condemn myself. Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my path.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for life, and for time’s olden memories that are good and sweet; and may the evening’s twilight find me gentle still.

~Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)

{Rest in peace and gentleness, Roy (June 8, 1926 – Dec 4, 2013)}

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

“They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.”

~Robert Laurence Binyon

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Today the murder case of six-year-old JonBenet Ramsey is considered “open,” but it’s a cold case, meaning there’s no active investigation.

Gee that sounds familiar! – Like Cindy’s case? Oh wait. Cindy’s case was surreptitiously closed…but was supposed to remain open according to the findings of the 1990 inquest!

Previously sealed court documents were released today showing a Colorado grand jury voted in 1999 to indict JonBenet’s parents, John and Patricia. But there was insufficient evidence and in 2008 new DNA evidence (showing the source was not a family member) cleared them, and their son.

Now there are no leads.

Who killed JonBenet remains a mystery.

There is a murderer still out there.

So I can’t help but continue to wonder…what DNA evidence is left in Cindy’s file?

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Palliative care is a valuable role, making death easier to face…but for some it isn’t enough.

“What I’m worried about is how I’m going to die,” said Dr. Donald Low, infectious disease specialist (the 2003 SARS expert) who advocated for the legalization of physician-assisted suicide in the days before his death last week (on September 18^th 2013).

(He died with a brain stem tumor, at the age of 68…seven months after diagnosis.)

“Will I be paralyzed? Am I going to have to be carried from the bathroom to the bed? Am I going to have trouble swallowing and won’t be able to take in food? … What the end is going to look like…that’s what’s bothering me the most. … I’m not afraid of dying. I could make that decision tomorrow. I just don’t want to be a long protracted out process where I’m unable to carry out my normal bodily functions and talk with my family and enjoy the last few days of my life.”

In his Globe and Mail obituary, the family asked, “In tribute to Don, please advocate for the legalization of assisted dying in Canada.”

(Assisted suicide…death with dignity…is illegal in Canada.) Perhaps that will change…especially after hearing Dr. Low’s dying thoughts.

His wife said Donald believed doctor assisted-suicide should only be provided as an option under specific regulations: the presence of a terminal illness verified by multiple doctors – including a psychiatrist who can assess that the person is mentally capable of making the decision — and that the patient has to be able to take the medication themselves.

What do you think?

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Studies show that most people think they smile more than they actually do.

If you feel exhausted or burned out often, maybe you need to smile more.

Why?

Smiling reduces stress that your body and mind feel and helps to generate more positive emotions within you.

So the simple act of learning to smile more can help boost you until you can make time to start being more proactive.

You may be surprised to learn that the days you find yourself smiling more, you are more energized, happy, and empowered … and therefore better able to achieve and share great things in life!

(That’s why we often feel happier around children – they smile more. On average, they smile 400 or so times a day while people, on average, only smile 20 times.)

So go ahead…set a ‘Happy Reminder’ alarm on your mobile device that travels with you. Boost your joy with this little trick. It will impact your life and that of others!

It can be a powerful first step toward getting rid of exhaustion and feelings that are otherwise dis-empowering.

And while you’re at it, why not practice smiling in front of the mirror. Be sure to activate both the corners of your mouth AND your eye sockets. (Using the muscles around the eyes makes it more genuine.)

Have fun.

And drop me a note to tell me how it worked for you!

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

If you want to create a positive change in your life now and “find” happiness, here are 5 things you can do every day for the next three weeks to train yourself to become more positive:

1. Write down 3 new things you are grateful for each day (you will see the world through positive eyes instead of negative).
2. Journal about a positive experience you’ve had over the past 24 hours (allows your brain to relive it). Yes, do this every day for 21 days.
3. Exercise (teaches you that your behavior matters).
4. Meditate (allows you to focus on the task at hand).
5. Perform random acts of kindness (creates a ripple of positive activity).

Thanks for passing this information/suggestion on to me from your university lecture, Jess.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James