In the course I recently completed (supporting individuals living with complex care needs), a point was brought up…most of the studies and models (and the resulting stages of grief and mourning) were done with people nearing the end of their life. What about those who die young, or unexpectedly or have pre-existing mental illness or […]

Killing oneself is not illegal in Canada, but helping someone to commit suicide is against the law. So Susan Griffiths, a seventy-two-year-old Canadian, went to a clinic in Zurich, Switzerland for the right to die on her own terms, with the help of a doctor, before her body could be completely taken over by multiple […]

How did you do it?” Carol asked me, knowing she was facing an overwhelming situation. She wanted to ‘be with’ her mother who was dying with Alzheimer’s, just as my Mom had. Carol was unable to carry on a conversation with her mother about what her mother was feeling and thinking as her body and […]

When your loved one deteriorates and dies and you are exhausted from the care-taking, you must forgive yourself for your imperfect efforts to be totally responsive as your beloved aged, became more dependent, and placed greater expectations upon you—confident that your deceased beloved understands and forgives you. It’s natural to want to tell yourself: “I […]

Such exciting news: Scientists in Canada and Europe have discovered another effective use for an EEG (electroencephalogram)…to test for whether or not a person, in what doctors call “a persistent vegetative state”, are still “in there.” The EEG can detect awareness. Prof. Adrian Owen and Dr. Damian Cruse, from the University of Western Ontario’s Brain […]

Something For Stevie. Thanks for passing this story on to me Marlene. If this doesn’t light your fire, your wood is wet! I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a […]

Many people who appear to be in deep coma (a state of unresponsiveness from which an individual has not yet been aroused) are not. Although their eyes are closed, they can hear what is being said. While one person described as being in a coma may be totally unaware of his/her state or environment, another […]

We can learn from Natalie Tjahja, the Indonesian woman who is making the dreams of distressed families come true. In 2006 Natalie’s seven-year-old daughter Maria Monique died from a lung infection because doctors in Indonesia were not able to treat her. Tjahja sold everything and flew with her daughter to Singapore for treatment. She soon […]

Exhausted, he wants to cry out for rest, peace and dignity. He just wants someone…anyone…to pause for a moment and talk to him. The nurses, orderlies, interns, residents are all so busy. Having a respirator down his throat, he is unable to communicate his thoughts, his feelings, or his needs. And his hand feels too […]

A grieving mother shared the following: “One thing I wanted to talk to you about is things people say when a loved one dies. I know people are well meaning and I am sure I have said things when consoling others that now I find abhorrent. “The worst was and still is, ‘She is in […]