Some people get so angry at the injustice of a death that they wish to destroy the perpetrator if only they could get their hands on them! Believe it or not, that is a normal reaction; it’s what you do with your anger that matters.

But anger, a form of energy, can be transformed into something strong and positive.

At a PD (personal and professional development) seminar I attended on beautiful Gabriola Island, B.C. Canada, I learned something called a vesuvius. –A safe way to express anger…with boundaries. It worked so well for me in releasing the anger I had bottled up inside that I adopted that eruption ritual and used it in some of the one-on-one sessions I had with my Hospice clients. And I taught it to Hospice volunteers so they could share it with other people too.

I created a safe environment where we would not be interrupted and established that there would be no damage to property. We also agreed upon a set amount of time for the ritual to take place plus time afterwards for “coming down” and discussion.

And very important…the person doing the vesuvious had to discuss with a family member what was taking place so that when it was time for the person to head home after the ritual, s/he would not alone—they would be with someone for additional support if needed. And they would have time to devote to themselves—perhaps having a candlelight bath…(can you think of other ways you might pamper yourself?)

In an upcoming Blog post I’ll talk more about the ‘vesuvius’.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James