In a previous Blog post I talked about a safe way of expressing anger through the use of a ‘vesuvius’.

A ‘vesuvius’ is not for everyone. —Before doing a ‘vesuvius’ you must make sure you are not a rageaholic (you don’t want to express your anger and be more angry).

In every instance that my clients did the ‘vesuvius’ ritual they found it to be exhausting and therapeutic.

When doing the ritual, we set a boundary of pillows (and some people used additional pillows inside the circle for gestalt work). During a vesuvius the person could not go outside the boundary. Some people brought air-filled punching bags to hit, or towels to wring and scream into.

We identified what the intention was.

And I established a time-out signal for my clients for when they felt on the verge of getting out-of-control.

We kept time.

We had an agreement to clean up afterwards.

And I insisted on eye contact (and reminded them of that throughout their eruption).

“I” statements had to be used throughout (“I feel…” “I wish…” “I dislike/hate…” “I think…” “I want…” “I see…” “I hear…” “I believe…” “I imagine…” “I plan to…” “I will…”)

And the person had to remember to breathe.

While expressing with the ‘vesuvius’, they used their full energy AND full sound (that’s why they were exhausted afterwards).

And of course this was done in a place where there was no chance of interruption and no chance of bothering anyone else.

Yes, the ‘vesusius’ works!

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
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