You are helping someone accept the reality of a death when you encourage him/her to see the body of his/her beloved.

Yes, viewing and touching a body is the best way for a grieving person to overcome feelings of denial about a death.

If you don’t know what to say, here is a suggestion:

“I think it would help if you said goodbye to…”

A woman lost her 3-year-old child in a surfing accident. Three days after the child went missing the woman was contacted to identify the half-eaten washed-up body. The identification, said the mother, was the most profound and enlightening experience of her life, as intense pain and love were felt simultaneously.

Often, finding a missing loved one, even if they are no longer alive, brings relief—hope of closure. (I was devastated when my sister was found dead two weeks after her disappearance…but I was grateful I wasn’t left in limbo wondering where she was—I was able to move forward with my grief.)

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James