When a student (or a brother or sister of a student) dies, children can have many different reactions: anxiety, fear, aggressiveness, anger, panic, guilt, regression, withdrawal, and symptoms of bodily distress. And often children will bottle up their emotions around adults and attempt to deny their feelings of anger, hurt, and fear by repressing them. But eventually grief takes over and feelings leak out!

So, if you are a teacher, it’s important for you to examine your own feelings about death and grief and share those feelings with the children within your class so the students in turn can feel comfortable exploring their feelings about death, loss and grief.

Children need to know it’s OK to grieve!

They need to know that it’s okay to cry, be sad or angry, and even smile and to know that it’s OK to want to help a classmate (you can explore supportive ideas with them).

Children are intuitive and shouldn’t be shielded from death and grief. –They sense and see what’s going on and will embrace helpful ways for channeling their grief. So an honest considerate approach taken in the classroom can help them now, and in the future.

If a student seeks you out to talk, be available and really listen. Hear with your ears, your eyes, and your heart and give them your undivided attention (click here to find out how to listen well).

Give warm hugs because hugs say, “I know what happened and I care. I am here if you need me.”

And please be open and honest with your feelings and create an atmosphere of open acceptance that invites questions and fosters confidence that you are concerned.

In another Blog I’ll share some great strategies for helping children channel their grief in the classroom.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
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