Family members, who spend the last moments with a dying loved one and want to feel less stressed so they can focus on “being there”, sometimes want to know how the body prepares itself for the final stage of life. Over several Blog posts I’ll share many of the changes you can expect:

Due in part to changes in the metabolism of the body, your beloved may spend an increasing amount of time sleeping and appear to be uncommunicative or unresponsive, and at times be difficult to arouse. This change is normal. Plan to spend time with your loved one during those times when s/he seems most alert or awake.

Sit with your loved one and hold his/her hand. Speak softly and naturally…this is a time of gentleness so do not shake them or speak loudly.

And do not talk about the person in the person’s presence—speak to him/her directly as you normally would, even though there may be no response. (Never assume the person cannot hear; hearing is the last of the senses to be lost!)

As you hold your loved one’s hand or lovingly caress their arm, one of the things you’ll notice is an increasing coolness under your touch. This is because the circulation of blood to their extremities is decreasing and being reserved for the most vital organs. You may also notice a change in the color of their skin, and depending on the extent of care you are giving (as you massage their limbs for instance), you’ll also notice their legs and feet getting increasingly cooler as well. Keep the person warm with a blanket (but do not use one that is electric) and continue to speak softly, or simply be there in the silence.

Read The Final Stage of Life (Part 2)

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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