In my last Blog post I talked about how the body cools as it nears death.

Here are more changes you can expect as your beloved prepares for the final stage of life:

Due in part to changes in metabolism, your loved one may seem to be confused about the time, place, and identity of people surrounding him/her…including close and familiar people. I have experienced situations where the dying mistakenly thought I was a family member…a daughter, or even a wife…as I sat with them until a family member arrived.

And when you do arrive at your beloved’s bedside, don’t ask the person to guess who you are…identify yourself by name before you speak.

And speak softly, clearly, and truthfully.

I found it creates comfort when you explain your communications, for instance if a nurse arrives to administer medication, explain to your beloved that “so and so is here now so you won’t begin to hurt.”

Also due in part to the decrease in oxygen circulation to the brain and to changes in metabolism, your beloved may often make restless and repetitive motions such as pulling at bed linen or clothing. Don’t interfere or try to restrain such motions.

To have a calming effect, speak in a quiet, natural way and lightly massage his/her forehead, or read to your beloved, or play some soothing music.

Enjoy this time of peace, of love. Help them to feel safe.

In part 3, I’ll talk about changes in breathing and appetite.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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