As I mentioned in my last Blog post, if your loved one is dying you may be going through a whole lot of emotions (guilt, anger, frustration, sadness…), feeling overwhelmed with questions (of what to say, how to act, wondering what will happen), and stressing about responsibilities and another concerns (finances, career, family…).

Here are some ideas to help you cope.

1) Learn as much as you possibly can (the more you know about what you’re facing, the better you can face it):

• …About your loved one’s disease, prognosis, and treatment.
• Learn how to provide care and manage stress.
• Ask questions.
• Read articles and books.
• Network with others.

2) Go easy on yourself (the more accepting you are of yourself, the more tolerant you’ll be of those around you, including the one who’s so ill):

• Give yourself time to adjust to all the changes.
• Pace yourself daily.
• Be lenient in your self-expectations.

3) Try to be aware that this is only temporary.

• It may seem that this crisis will never end…or that life will always be sad…or that you’ll be forever hurt by what’s happening. Those thoughts are understandable but the distress you feel will one day subside.
• Life’s joy can return.
• You’ll be shaped and changed by what you’re going through, yet the changes don’t have to be only negative.
• You can grow from this experience. You may not want to read that right now, but it’s true.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James