Organ donation—such a personal issue involving so many ethical and moral considerations!
Every case is unique…indeed, no two are the same…and how often do we really know enough about a situation from the media to be making a judgment about a case? Sometimes facts become distorted and people are misrepresented. And aren’t such matters a private issue that have no place in the media to begin with?
The great debate—Is life at any cost a life? Should we be playing God? –If there is no chance at a viable and enjoyable life, should life be forced?
My heart goes out to precious two-month-old Kaylee and her family.
You may have heard about Kaylee, the Canadian girl whose parents, while thinking Kaylee has a terminal illness that will soon lead to her death, and using courage, grace and love for Kaylee, want to donate her heart for transplant (if she can’t live) to help another baby. They don’t want Kaylee to suffer, and they don’t want her death to be meaningless.
In this case it’s an issue about ‘cardiac death’ donation—removing organs from donors when there is no brain death. Kaylee’s heart would have to stop beating for 5min before she can be legally declared dead and her heart removed for transplant.
Kaylee has Joubert Syndrome (a malformation of the brain and brainstem)…so she can’t breathe on her own while she sleeps…so those around her are waiting for her to fall asleep and die (since she was taken off life support on Tuesday and survived)…and if she survives further, she could have mild to severe handicaps. The question is whether or not she has a condition that she will grow out of or that is treatable. Is it too early, at age two-months, to be able to tell what her life will be like?
And because Kaylee has a “pre-existing condition” she is not eligible to receive the necessary home-monitoring equipment unless her parents have the insurance coverage (they would have to pay out-of-pocket). Perhaps this is where charities can step into the picture to help out those in need.
So should Kaylee be given a breathing device for sleeping to help her live?
This isn’t just a story about giving another child a chance to live through organ donation. We must remember to continue to see someone as a patient and not just as a potential donor.
And we must also remember, this family needs compassion, support and understanding.
Kaylee’s parents are meeting with doctors again today for a progress report on her condition. She remained stable yesterday but is still expected to die…but nobody knows when.
What are your thoughts?
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
You can make this world a better place by contributing to the people you meet every day. It’s as simple as:
1. Smiling, and seeing how others respond. –Give someone the gift of your smile and kindness. It’s amazing how easily you can uplift someone with a smile!
2. Saying something positive to at least 3 people every day. This could be your neighbor, a work colleague, your spouse, or your child…. The opportunities of brightening up someone’s day are endless once you begin to look out for them. Be encouraging and help people think big—show genuine interest.
3. Helping someone lost or in some trouble. Even giving directions to a lost tourist will lift your spirits.
4. Helping someone for no other reason than to make his or her life easier. For example, next time you are in a traffic queue, give way to other motorists. Count the number of times each day that you do something for others simply to help them.
5. Making a monetary contribution to a good cause. You will be surprised how far a little change can go.
6. Recommending someone’s services or products. Help other people grow through your recommendations. Offer to put people in touch with someone who you think could help them. Recommend the plumber or decorator who did such a great job for you, your editor, your counselor, or your therapist….
7. Introducing people. You can connect people in business, on blind dates, someone who’s new to your area…
8. Talking in glowing terms about someone to a third person. Instead of gossiping and “bitching”, stop and get into the habit of only saying positive things about other people.
9. Acknowledging at least three people daily. This could be by sending them a greeting card or a “thank you” note, telephoning or emailing…perhaps a mobile text message. Do something for them that you know they will appreciate. Tell them you care about them, that you’re thinking of them, that you love them….
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
David wrote of the generosity he received from co-workers when he became seriously ill three years ago. After three hospital stays, including two surgeries, he had used up all of his vacation and sick leave.
“It was the end of the year and my last paycheck at the first of December was for approximately 10 percent of its usual amount. I was worried it was fast approaching Christmas and I wouldn’t be going back to work until mid-January at the earliest. I am married and have two daughters who at that time were 8 and 5, respectively. My wife, who is a schoolteacher, was just barely keeping things together. I really didn’t think there would be much if any Christmas that year. So I was very surprised when on the 15th of December I received a paycheck. When I opened it there was not only a full pay period but also the pay I was missing from the previous check. I immediately called our comptroller for an explanation. It seems that all the employees had gotten together and donated any vacation that they had left for the year so I could get paid. I cried. It was truly a Good Deed.”
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Sometimes witnessing a good deed leaves a lasting impression.
Donna remembers a day in California when she was eleven-years-old, and her parents took their six children for a special day at the beach. Donna’s mother brought a picnic lunch — fried chicken and her famous potato salad — and prepared a plate for each of them.
“When I looked up from my plate, my mother was fixing one more plate… She turned away from us and walked over maybe 20 or 30 feet to where there was a man by himself. And he was picking his way through the trashcan. And my mother — I don’t know whether she just put the plate there or whether she touched him gently or whether she said a few words — but I remember him turning to her in a gesture of thankfulness.”
Donna’s mother came back and sat down at the table.
Years later, Donna asked her mother if she remembered the incident.
“She laughed and said, ‘Not at all.’ But for me, I remember it very well because for me, it was the touchstone for what good deeds became in my life.”
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
A sincere compliment or even just acknowledging another persons presence can make a huge difference to them—and you.
Compliments should be positive, sincere and focused on achievements.
“You look radiant today. You must really be taking good care of yourself.”
“Your pasta sauce was fantastic…parents and kids at the camp were raving about it and saying you must really be a good cook.” (This was a compliment I received last year from my son’s teacher after he and all the grade 5 classes returned from a two-day trip to Fort Steele. I felt fabulous after hearing that, especially since I hadn’t been able to attend!)
If a compliment can make someone feel on top of the world, imagine how s/he would feel to be the recipient of a good deed! (As the person doing the good deed, you will get a hug or a smile or a thank you…plus a great feeling inside.) And the acts will spread like wildfire.
Here are some random acts of kindness (some that children can also do):
Helping someone with homework,
Taking an elderly person’s dog for a walk,
Baking cookies for a sick friend,
Cutting grass,
Raking leaves,
Shoveling snow,
Carefully picking up broken glass and nails and garbage from the streets and side of the road.
Putting money in a parking meter that ran out,
Paying someone’s bus fare,
Standing up for someone older on the bus,
Making someone breakfast in bed,
Opening doors for people,
Helping someone with their bags off the bus,
Donating to a food bank,
Volunteering at a soup kitchen,
Talking to someone who looks lonely,
Washing someone’s car,
Carrying someone’s groceries,
Taking books to a shelter…and reading to the children there,
…
And you don’t need to talk of your good deeds.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Yesterday I wrote about the act of giving.
Today I’m sharing a powerful video of the then ten-year-old, Declan John Gailbraith, singing “Tell Me Why” –asking the world why we can’t all be friends and help out one another.
What an incredible voice!
Thanks for passing this on to me Roger.
The video is 4min and 19sec.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Imagine finding happiness and improving your health.
Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?
Well guess what? –You can find both…simply by participating in the act of giving!
And you’ll be improving the lives of others at the same time.
True giving is always done out of love, with NO expectation of “now you owe me something”. (But allow others to give something back if they desire to.)
And whenever you accept a gift, know that you are helping yourself and the giver to complete the cycle of giving and receiving. So receive joyously and cheerfully and not feel bad or ashamed about receiving something from someone.
Give to people who inspire you, help you and love you.
Give to where you receive the most joy.
Give to where it makes you most happy to give.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Due to an overwhelming response on the topic of sleep paralysis, here’s another of your true-life experiences:
“When I slept over at my friends house I had awakened to the noise of creaking footsteps coming from the hallway that separated the 2 rooms in his house. In between the rooms was a bathroom, but the bathroom didn’t matter (being dark in his room with only the natural light from the outside to shine in; I was frightened). I’m not sure what I was hearing but I freaked out. I noticed my friend behind me was still sleeping and, not wanting to make noise, I tried to reach out to him. Realizing that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t move. I couldn’t lift my head either. I felt like my body had the will to move, but nothing. I attempted to yell to my friend and I remember my mouth moving but the words came out without breath. I never finished waking till hours later.”
~Alan
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
~Mother Teresa
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
A mother sits at the window, sipping tea, and contemplating her younger daughter’s upcoming birthday near the beginning of April.
Springtime—a time of renewal, a time of perennial rebirth.
She knows this should be a joyous time.
But instead there is a pang of fear in this mother’s heart.
So here this mother sits with a feeling that a part of her is missing…and along with this feeling is the fear that she won’t be happy without her beloved Marianne.
And she knows she has an irrational fear that she will lose her younger daughter too…simply because her younger daughter will be the “death age”.
So she holds on tight…at least for now.
It is common to have a fear associated with the age of someone’s death.
I vividly recall the fear I felt in the years leading up to the date of when I would turn the age that Cindy was upon her death…45—although she disappeared when she was 44, shortly after her bound body was found beside an abandoned house and before we cremated and buried her, my family and I stood in a circle around her closed coffin and celebrated her 45th birthday. I was 27 then.
Years later, as I approached the age of 45, I had an irrational fear and a foreboding of death. I did not want to turn 45! –I thought something might happen to me at that age!
I know, it wasn’t rational…but I couldn’t help myself.
And because of embarrassment over the irrationality, I never told a soul until after I turned 45 and had sailed through that year, accomplishing many milestones with delight. —By then the fear had dissipated so I told my sister Marlene…who was surprised but supportive.
Today I can shake my head and chuckle over my fear and my irrational behavior at that time. I certainly know what it’s like to have such a fear…and it isn’t at all funny when you are experiencing it!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James