We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
by any on Earth.

This cord does it’s work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take it away!

~Unknown Author

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

It’s the eyes—that look…of such sorrow…and emptiness…and shock…mixed with exhaustion. Such pain.

It’s hard to see you hurting so much.

I want to wrap you in a blanket of warmth and safety and tell you it’s going to be OK…but I know that’s not true right now.

I feel so helpless.

All I can do is listen…and be there for you.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

“I was sorry to hear the bad news.”

“You’ve been through a lot.”

“How are you doing?”

“Tell me more about it.”

“I care.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’m available.”

Be there. There is nothing more valuable than someone by your side when you are struggling with the shock of loss.
Avoid giving advice.
Offer practical help.
Be a good listener.
Be patient.
Allow people the opportunity to name the emotions they are feeling, to talk about them and unpack them without any sense that they are wrong and inappropriate.
Encourage them.
And remember, you can’t fix it.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

May peace be with you Teresa…I came across this poem and thought of you, because of the recent death of your husband, Larry:

To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say…
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there’s no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I’m with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, “I welcome you.”

It’s good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you’re part of my plan.
There’s so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.”

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you…in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o’er.
I’m closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too…
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who’s in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night…”My day was not in vain.”
And now I am contented…that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street, and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it’s time for you to go…. from that body to be free,
remember you’re not going…you’re coming here to me.

~Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author); Written in memory of her late husband, Richard Mahaffey

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Acknowledge

Listen

Give hope

To comfort someone who is heartbroken, be willing to acknowledge their situation. Then listen without fixing, and give hope by communicating through actions or words such as, “You’re not alone. I’m here. I care.”

A simple invitation to join a Thanksgiving dinner or holiday party gives hope.

Being connected and supported by friends and family is the perfect buffer against sorrow.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Thanksgiving Day is almost here.

Remember to give “thanks” for what you had…and what you still have:

Memories,

Love,

Feelings in your heart.

Those can never be taken from you unless you let them.

This year give thanks that the grief you feel is based on the enormous love you shared!

So, look at the pictures.

Reflect on the years.

Give yourself credit for having the strength to get up and face the day.

Don’t hibernate—socialize…even if it’s only for a brief time.

And be honest about your feelings and communicate your concerns and needs—you don’t have to cover up.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Thanks for passing this on Vera:

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.

A Death Certificate shows that we died.

I believe – That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I believe – That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe – That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe – That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe – That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe – That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe – That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe – That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I believe – That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe – That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe – That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe – That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe – That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe – That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe – That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I believe – That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I believe – That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe – That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I believe – That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe – That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life FOREVER.

I believe – Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe – That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I believe – That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you – you will find the strength to help.

I believe – That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe – That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

~Author Unknown

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

In March 2011, Rita and Albert Chretien disappeared while driving from their home in Penticton, B.C., to a trade show in Las Vegas—their GPS has led them astray…onto a logging road.

A group of hunters found Rita 49 days later in the couple’s Chevy Astro minivan that was stuck in the mud. Thirty pounds lighter, she was on the verge of starvation, having survived on trail mix, hard candy, fish oil pills and melted snow and has told church groups her Christian faith kept her going.

“When we first went off the road, we thought it would just be a short road and we’d be back to the main road right away. The next thing we know we turned down the wrong road and we were where we shouldn’t be and it’s dark and we couldn’t find a way to turn around,” she has said

Three days after getting stuck in northern Nevada, Albert, not dressed for the mountain weather, took the GPS unit and the cell phone and left the vehicle in search of help. He hadn’t been seen since…that is, until this past Saturday, when his remains were discovered by two elk hunters in a secluded area of Merritt Mountain, about 11 kilometers west from where he set off.

Until then, Rita had struggled with the issue of not knowing where her husband was, and for a while had been holding out hope that maybe he had found a hunter’s cabin in the area and sought shelter. But she knew there had been rockslides and washouts and predators.

Miraculously, the remains were intact and hadn’t been scattered by animals, making it possible to confirm his identity by information in his wallet and business cards.

For Rita, it was a relief that he had actually been found even though it wasn’t the miracle she had been hoping for.

“It’s final closure — you can say goodbye, but there’s always that part missing. This is the physical proof that he’s not out there, wandering around somewhere,” Rita told one of the newspapers.

I know what you mean, Rita. It was the same way when my sister’s body had been found…the beginning of saying goodbye.

My heart goes out to Rita and her family.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

To assist in the healing process, listen to your inner self to hear what you need. You could:

-With today’s technology you can create a website in honor of the person who is absent

-Buy yourself a special gift

-Join a support group

-Find someone to talk to about your feelings

-Plant a tree in honor of the person

-Pamper yourself

-Pray or meditate and ask God or a higher power to help you through

-Spend the day with family (or friends) (“What can I help you with?”)

-Some people view “an anniversary day” as a day just like any other day in order to get through it

-Do volunteer work or donate money or clothes…

-Write a letter to your loved one

-Write a special poem and dedicate it to the memory of your beloved

-Light a candle

-Pull out old videotape or photos of your loved one

-Make a photo collage

-Visit a nursing home and spend time with a mom who has no children nearby

-Allow yourself to feel the love and joy of your children

-Remember the happy times you spent with your loved one (funny stories, touching memories)

-Spend some time alone in quiet meditation

-Do something your loved one would have enjoyed

…

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Thanks for passing this on Roy:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: – Knowing when to come in out of the rain; – Why the early bird gets the worm; – Life isn’t always fair; – And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; – I Know My Rights – I Want It Now – Someone Else Is To Blame – I’m A Victim – Pay me for Doing Nothing.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James