The holiday season abounds with opportunities for extending kindness to others. You could:

Buy or donate shoes, boots, clothes, and warm winter attire for a family in need.

Invite an elderly or lonely neighbor over for dinner…or take dinner to them and chat.

Help an elderly person with grocery shopping. They may have their own story of a child who died.

Visit a nursing home, and sit and listen to some of the residents. Bring them some homemade goodies.

Shovel someone’s driveway.

Leave a bouquet of flowers at another child’s grave in the cemetery.

Pay someone’s electrical bill. (Especially in these tough economic times, many people can experience severe, uncontrollable or unplanned hardships and are unable to pay for their energy needs.)

Volunteer time at a crisis nursery, an animal or homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, a food bank, a book shelter…

Leave a large tip for your food server, your newspaper carrier…

Knit or crochet a baby blanket for the hospital nursery. Premature babies can always use tiny booties and caps.

Put together a balloon bouquet and ask the nurses at the children’s hospital to deliver them to a child. (Or donate those games and clean stuffies your children don’t play with anymore.)

Pay someone’s parking meter (especially if it is going to expire).

What other acts of kindness can you come up with?

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

This holiday season the family decided to “Skip Christmas”! –Not the spirit or the meaning of Christmas…but all of the hustle and bustle associated with the season.

You see, they welcomed cards from one another and from others…but they respectfully requested that in lieu of buying a gift people were to do a random act of kindness for someone.

“This won’t cost you a dime, and I guarantee it will make you feel good,” the family said.

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
~Aesop

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

I’ve discovered there are lots of ways to remember a loved one during the holiday season. You could:

Light a candle or a Hospice tree during their “Tree of Lights” event.

Hang a special ornament to honor a deceased loved one—an ornament that had special meaning for your beloved…or one that you made yourself (or perhaps one made together).

Hang a special stocking or have available a decorated box (similar to a ballot box with a slot in the top) and ask family members and friends to write a note or insert a special memento that reminds them of a favorite story or memory about the deceased…and then when everyone is gathered to open their gifts on Christmas day, (or maybe on Christmas Eve when the tree is lit and everyone is enjoying togetherness; any special time during the holidays), read the notes one by one and share the stories and memories associated with the mementos.

Among the holiday decorations, create a sacred space (like an alter) with your beloved’s photo along with other special items…candles, flowers, incense, music, personal items from friends and family…and use it as a place for meditation, prayer, blessings or gratitude. Make it eye appealing, comfortable and meaningful to you. (Included in my sacred space is a water fountain with polished rocks that have special meaning.) Remember, it doesn’t have to be elaborate…it can be simple—as long as it holds special meaning for you!

Listen to your loved one’s favorite music or sing their favorite Christmas carol.

Set a place for your beloved at the Christmas table and cook extra food (including your beloved’s favorite dish)…but take the food to a homeless person or to someone who is alone for the holidays—or better yet, invite them to dine with you at your place!

At the start of your meal say a prayer and take a moment to remember your beloved.

Practice random acts of kindness and create a legacy of love in remembrance of your loved one…for instance take gifts to a children’s hospital.

What do you like to do?

In another Blog post I’ll share more ideas for random kind acts.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.”

The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, “Don’t you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside?

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They’re all for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each one of us, as human beings, have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses—from our children, family members, friends, and God. There is simply no other possession, anyone could hold, more precious than this.
~ Author unknown ~

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Wouldn’t life be worth living
Wouldn’t dreams be coming true
If we kept the Christmas spirit
All the whole year through?
~Author Unknown

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly decorated packages. But mostly, Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elf-like student with wide-eyed innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Mark was an 11-year-old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind young Mark, if it hadn’t been for her generosity, he would be a vagrant, homeless waif. Still, with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.

I had not noticed Mark particularly until he began staying after class each day (at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger, I later found) to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Mark spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite small when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman, who always spent much time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Mark failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper hurriedly from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large gray eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, “Did you really miss me?”

I explained how he had been my best helper. “I was making you a surprise,” he whispered confidentially. “It’s for Christmas.” With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn’t stay after school any more after that.

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Mark crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. “I have your present,” he said timidly when I looked up. “I hope you like it.” He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

“Its beautiful, Mark. Is there something in it?” I asked opening the top to look inside. 

“Oh you can’t see what’s in it,” He replied, “and you can’t touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights, and safe when you’re all alone.”

I gazed into the empty box. “What is it Mark,” I asked gently, “that will make me feel so good?”

“It’s love,” he whispered softly, “and mother always said it’s best when you give it away.” And he turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile as inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them that there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for gaiety, mirth and song, for good and wondrous gifts.

But mostly, Christmas is for love.
~ Author Unknown ~

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do.

Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kinda wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys. And wondered if the grandkids would even play with them.

I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about 5 holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for. I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, “Are you sure I don’t have enough money?” She replied a bit impatiently, “You know that you don’t have enough money for it.” The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle. The boy continued to hold the doll.

After a bit I asked the boy who the doll was for. He said, “It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it.” I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said, “No, Santa can’t go where my sister is…I have to give the doll to my Momma to take to her.” I asked him where his sister was.

He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, “She has gone to be with Jesus. My Daddy says that Momma is going to have to go be with her.”

My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, “I told my Daddy to tell Momma not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store.”

Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he’d had taken at the front of the store. He said, “I want my Momma to take this with her so she don’t ever forget me. I love my Momma so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me. But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister.”

I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet. While he was not looking I reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills. I asked the little boy, “Shall we count that money one more time?” He grew excited and said, “Yes, I just know it has to be enough.” So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it.

Of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, “Thank you Jesus for giving me enough money.” Then the boy said, “I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Momma can take it with her to give to my sister. And he heard my prayer. I wanted to ask him for enough to buy my Momma a white rose, but I didn’t ask him, but he gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Momma. She loves white roses so very very much.”

In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the Mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on rather to remove the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

Two days later I read in the paper where the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I could not forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I could not help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young woman was. And there she was holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store.

I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming. And in a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.

“We make a living by what we get; We make a life by what we give.”
Submitted by John London

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Grief is like having a jagged stone inside oneself…as time passes the jagged edges gradually become smooth, but the stone remains.
~The Compassionate Friends

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

James Lewin with his grandson Brian

Now here’s a heartwarming true story:

Last Friday night, James, a 65-year-old grandfather (a retired firefighter with 29 years of service), sacrificed himself to save the life of his twelve-day-old granddaughter, Sara, who he was pushing in a stroller. They were walking home after attending a candlelight walk and tree-lighting ceremony.

Just before a pickup truck hit James, he pushed the stroller out of harms way (bending the axle and breaking the handle). James suffered a fractured left wrist, a dissected artery in his neck that has caused several strokes, six fractured ribs, a bruised lung, multiple facial fractures, a broken nose, and a horrible road rash all over his body from being dragged 75 feet by the truck.

Although heavily sedated and breathing with help from a ventilator, James responds when his three-year-old grandson, Brian, says, “I love you Grandpa.”

The family has said the injury could have been much worse but credits their faith for the baby’s survival and Jim’s recovery.

“The doctors are very pleased and amazed at Jim’s progress,” says his wife Carol. “His nurse told us about people who put guardian angel pins on the patient’s arm band so we are buying a guardian angel pin.”

And on their family website they’ve written:

“Lessons Learned These Past Days: We need a strong faith in God, a good supply of helpful scriptures, united network of family and friends, patience and flexibility. We need to take care of ourselves (sleep, food, hydration and time away from the hospital – very hard to do) so that we can remain strong in order to continue helping Jim. We need to structure our days so that we have a consistent routine. We need to ask for help when needed. We need to be aware of what each family member is going through. We need to constantly show appreciation for those people who are taking care of Jim and taking care of us: doctors, nurses, medical staff, chaplains, social workers, victim’s advocate, police, family, friends and community who visit us, bring us meals and try to help us in so many ways. We also need to be aware of how we can help other people in the waiting room like asking about their loved one, offering to get something for them, etc.

Thank you everyone for all of your continued love and kindness,

Carol, Kim, Kris, Suzanne, Brian & Sara”

You can visit their website for updates and more “lessons learned.”

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Are you looking for gift ideas for the holiday season?

Well there’s nothing with a quicker return on your investment than the gift of a smile. So give it freely and often! —You won’t run out, but you will get a lot more in return!

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James