When Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah was born, his mother saw him as no others did—and she loved him with all her heart.
It was 1977 in rural Ghana, West Africa.
And Emmanuel was born missing his right shinbone, making his foot dangle uselessly from the curled-up stump of his lower leg.
He was disabled…a pozo (Ghanaian slang for a disabled person)—traditionally considered a curse and assumed to be the result of a mother who had sinned. So, as a disabled infant, Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah could have been poisoned, could have been left to die or could have been hidden away.
But he wasn’t.
Instead, his mother (after his father had abandoned the family upon Emmanuel’s birth) encouraged her son to educate himself in the free public system.
She carried him 2 miles…each way…to school, until he was old enough to hop there on his good leg.
He was the only disabled child among the 250 students.
And oh, how they teased him!
He wasn’t allowed to play sports. What could a legless boy do anyway they wondered, thinking he was useless.
But Emmanuel continued going to school—that is, until he was 13-years-old.
Living in a tiny home without electricity or plumbing, and having the dirt packed floor for his bed, Emmanuel decided to earn some money.
His mother was ailing.
So he quit school.
Disabled people in Ghana were expected to beg for a living, but Emmanuel didn’t want to do that. Instead he shined shoes—for $2/day.
On her deathbed 7 years later, his mother told Emmanuel, “Don’t let anybody put you down because of your disability.”
“What my mother told me,” Emmanuel says, “was a gift.”
It spurred him to show everyone that physically challenged people can do something—that being physically disabled doesn’t mean you are mentally disabled…you can still use whatever gifts you have been given. You don’t have to beg.
And so, starting with a 600-kilometer bike ride around Ghana to raise awareness about the disabled, Emmanuel, with one leg, transformed the lives of Ghana’s estimated 2 million disabled people.
He’s a celebrity. He has won the respect of fellow Ghanaians…as well as the king.
In 2002, Emmanuel did the Triathlon Challenge in California. It took him seven hours to complete the 56-mile bike leg of the event. The following year his leg was amputated (free of charge at California’s Loma Linda hospital) so he could wear a prosthesis.
Now he no longer uses crutches…he runs…he plays soccer…he’s married…and he has a daughter, Linda (named after the hospital).
And he created the Emmanuel Education Fund in Ghana, saying:
“My goal is to make sure that children with disabilities get an education, receive proper medical care, and play sports whenever they want.”
But he’s done so much more than that!
Now go and rent the movie, Emmanuel’s Gift, but be sure to have Kleenex with you when you watch it.
And be forewarned…you will be inspired to greater heights!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Death Is Nothing At All
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name; speak to me in the easy way that you always used.
Put no difference in your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household name that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well…
(Henry Scott Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral)
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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A dying person needs you—your presence and love!
Get to know who they’ve been and who they seek to become—what is the legacy they want to leave?
And remember, you can’t say anything wrong as long as you’re there.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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If I am dying and you are afraid to talk to me, what is it you are afraid of?
Are you afraid you may say something to upset me? –Afraid you might blurt out something upsetting like “you are dying.”
Well guess what…I already know that. How upsetting could it be if you tell me something I already know?
Don’t be shy, embarrassed or hesitant.
And don’t hover around me with a worried look in your eye. Take a deep breath and relax.
Do remember though, I may be having a bad day and not feeling well. So don’t take it personally if I just tell you I am not feeling well today and not up to having company.
If I’m up for a visit, let me set the tone for the conversation. I may have things I want to say to you, if I do please just listen. I may try to talk of some past event and you may try to brush it off as nothing. Please let me have my say—you don’t know…it could be weighing on me…something I need to get out while I have the chance! And if I don’t want to talk but want you there, just hold my hand and tell me about your life. Don’t let feelings go unexpressed or words unsaid—you well may regret it later.
Talk to me and treat me like any other person.
Tell me a funny memory.
Do not spend the entire visit trying to comfort me. I am no different than anyone else. I am dying but so is everyone, some just faster than others. Really, who is to know with traffic accidents etc, I may live longer than you.
Lets just have an enjoyable comfortable visit.
Mourn not what you are losing, instead remember and celebrate what you had.
Enjoy me.
Appreciate me.
Love me.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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“Do you want to talk about…?”
“Will you help me find a way to be useful to you?”
“Do you remember the time…?”
“I was just thinking about…”
“I hate the news about your health.”
“I’m sorry. I want to help if I can.”
“You’re a wonderful friend.”
“I love you.”
“How are you doing physically?”
“How are you doing emotionally?”
“How are you doing spiritually?”
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Love for the sake of loving.
Give for the sake of giving.
Allow people to be right.
Give them space to be where they are.
Let them be exactly as they are.
Do not criticize, children, adults,
Or any other living thing…including yourself.
Remember life is not a game.
It is just life.
There are no winners and losers.
Do not call yourself either.
Simply BE who you are.
You are beautiful.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Imagine a sunny afternoon.
Your child is sitting and playing in the garage…having a great time. Or maybe is playing in the shadows at the top of the driveway.
Seemingly out of nowhere a motor vehicle, not equipped with a backup camera or sensors, backs over that child.
It’s a horrible accident.
But this tragic scenario is a reality for some. In fact, on May 25, 2008, it happened to Grammy-winning Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his family.
Steven’s sweet adopted five-year-old daughter, Maria Sue (sitting on Steven’s lap), was accidentally backed into by one of her teenage brothers who was parking the family vehicle.
Maria died of her injuries.
She had celebrated her birthday only eight days earlier.
As someone who has experienced a death, I know, even with several months having passed since Maria’s funeral, for the Chapman family, some days ahead will be difficult because the rest of the world moves on.
Now imagine family and friends standing just feet away from a tiny coffin and sharing stories about your child who has died in an accident.
It’s heart wrenching! As a parent I just can’t imagine having to deal with such a death—to have your child die accidentally and wish there was something…anything…you could have done that would have saved them!
Yet there are many families who must face such a long journey ahead in grief.
So when you hear of such stories, wrap those people with love. Be intentional. Pray for them. And if you knew them, help them find peace and joy in the memories they have of their loved one.
And anytime you see a vehicle, let it be a reminder (or whenever you hear a Steven Curtis Chapman song) to remember to look behind you when you are backing up.
May the little angels rest in peace in the arms of love!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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One of the things I wanted to do while in Florida was take an airboat tour (see photo above) in the Everglades, like you see in the pan shot at the beginning of the TV show CSI Miami…and hopefully see alligators. I had seen impressive crocodiles (which I was told could reach lengths of 23 feet and weight up to 1500 pounds—the most powerful amphibians on our planet) in and around the Mara River when I was in Kenya, Africa, and now I wanted to see the other large reptile belonging to the crocodilian family—alligators.
I wondered how the gators differed from the crocs. (Besides their size…I knew the much smaller gators could grow up to 14 feet in length and weigh as much as 1,000 pounds).
I’ve seen YouTube videos of brownish crocs pulling buffalo into African watering holes…or crocs attacking zebras…but I’ve never seen or heard of alligators doing something as bold as that…so I assumed crocs were ferocious whereas the smaller, blacker gators were more docile.
(By the way, did you know crocodilians have been around for 200 million years—and have changed very little since then? And they survived while dinosaurs vanished! And, crocs and gators coexist in Florida—the only known place in the world that they do!)
Anyway, their snouts are different…and you can see ALL the teeth along the jaw line of a croc when its mouth is closed (including a huge tooth on each side of the lower jaw—yikes)…but only see the teeth of the upper jaw on a closed-mouthed alligator.
But what’s really interesting…and perhaps refutes the “more docile” theory, is the evidence documented in Florida since 1948 showing more than 275 unprovoked alligator attacks on humans, with at least 17 resulting in deaths.
In talking to local Floridians I discovered that alligators can sometimes be found in backyard ponds, canals, ditches and streams, garages, pools and in golf course ponds! In fact, recent Tropical Storm Fay flushed several gators (and snakes, and other wildlife) into residential areas.
And get a load of this—amazingly, there are 30,000 Burmese pythons in the Everglades…in fact, several types of deadly snakes…boa constrictors and yellow anacondas…and they’ve battled the gators!
In October 2005 a 13-foot python (a constrictor that suffocates its prey) ate a 6-foot alligator! But both died because the python split open after devouring the gator whole (above picture).
And by the way, even before Fay, there’s evidence the deadly snakes were moving into suburban Miami (and north to other areas)—and they are known to grow up to 30 feet in length—and they are known to eat humans! Scary!
When I got back from vacation one of the first things my father said was, “I hope you kept the kids in the car when you were in the Everglades…there’s alligators, and deadly snakes there you know!”
I know Dad…but we didn’t see any snakes. However, maybe next time we’ll see them in a city! But I did see gators…
In fact, I held a three-and-a-half foot one…and so did my children. And the gator was very friendly!
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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In December 1982 (during the early years of my sister Cindy James’s harassment) Cindy received several threatening letters. One of them was a picture of a blond woman (representing my sister) with her throat slashed, with a caption in capital letters saying, “Merry Christmas.” –such a frightening threat!
So in July 2008 when 30-year-old Lebanese singer Suzanne Tamim was found dead in her Dubai apartment with multiple stab wounds and a 20-centimeter (8 inch) slash across her throat, I thought of Cindy and how she had been terrorized with that long-ago picture. My heart immediately went out to Suzanne’s family and friends, not only for the death they had to cope with but also for the horrific way she had died.
And I was saddened to discover very little progress had been made in solving Tamim’s horrible death.
No progress…that is until recently.
Only this past week was the real estate mogul, Hisham Talaat Moustafa (said to be Tamim’s former lover), arrested by Egyptian authorities. The tycoon, a top ruling party official close to President Hosni Mubarak’s powerful son, Gamal, is one of Egypt’s top billionaires—owning luxury hotels and beach resorts—and a leading force in building Western-style suburbs in Cairo for the upper class.
Well, last Tuesday, Egypt’s public prosecutor accused Moustafa of contracting for the singer’s killing by paying $2 million to Mohsen el-Sukkary, a former Egyptian state security officer who worked at the Cairo Four Seasons Hotel owned by Moustafa. The prosecutor said Moustafa helped facilitate visas and tickets for the security man as he trailed the singer first to London, then to Dubai (where Tamim had moved to break off her relationship with Moustafa, who is married).
According to Dubai investigators, el-Sukkary stalked the singer the morning of July 28th to her apartment in Dubai, which overlooked the Persian Gulf and a harbor full of yachts.
Then from the lobby he rang her video intercom, showing her an ID of the management company from which she had recently bought the apartment.
Police say she buzzed him in.
Once inside, he stabbed her repeatedly with a knife and then shed his overalls and cap, dumping them in a trash bin outside the building, officials said. They were found by police and tested for DNA.
Police say the killer’s face also appeared on security camera footage.
“It took 12 minutes for the murderer to enter the building, kill the victim and leave,” Maj. Gen. Khamis Mattar Al Mazeina of the Dubai police told a press conference.
El-Sukkary was arrested August 6th in Egypt. Dubai police traveled to Cairo to present their evidence against him but then turned their attention to Moustafa.
Last Thursday, Egypt’s independent Al-Masri Al-Youm newspaper printed transcripts of alleged phone conversations kept by el-Sukkary and seized by police. In one, Moustafa says, “The agreed amount is ready,” and tells the security man, “Tomorrow, she is in London and you should act.”
In a later tape, el-Sukkary explains he missed his chance in London and “will wait to move it to Dubai.” Moustafa chides him then says, “”OK, let’s finish with this.”
I’m curious to know how this case unfolds in the criminal justice system. So if you hear any more updates, please let me know.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
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Do you use Facebook?
Ever get that feeling someone is looking over your shoulder…keeping an eye on you…?
Michael Wertheimer, assistant deputy director of US National Intelligence for analysis, says a program called A-Space, a social-networking site for analysts within the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies, has been undergoing testing for months and launches officially for the nation’s entire intelligence community on September 22.
So put it on your calendar!
Spies will be able to meet under the protective umbrella of the new A-Space site to share data they’ve never been able to share before—like critical information and opinion about such things as al Qaeda movements in the Middle East or Russian naval maneuvers in the Black Sea. And the government will be able to assess all the data so nothing is missed (like the “missed” e-mail that an FBI agent sent before September 11, 2001, warning of people learning to fly airplanes but not learning to land them). Yes, it was the 9/11 commission that recommended that new networks be created to facilitate the sharing of data across agencies to protect people’s lives.
But apparently participation in this “MySpace for analysts” will be voluntary (so covers won’t be blown).
So the CIA, FBI and The National Security Agency will be using this social-networking site that has the characteristics of Facebook. But only intelligence personnel with the proper security clearance, and a reason to be examining particular information, can access the site. Let’s face it, the creators of A-Space do not want it to be used by some future double agent to steal America’s 21st-century secrets.
But did you know that earlier this year the CIA used Facebook, for informational purposes, to advertise employment opportunities with the agency? (This is according to a CIA spokesman, George Little.) But some people thought the agency was monitoring members.
Wertheimer said. “We’re going to actually do patterns on the way people use A-Space.” Like when someone is using their credit card in a way they’ve never used it before, and it alerts so that maybe that credit card has been stolen.
And yes, analysts can collect friends on A-Space the way people can on MySpace and Facebook. But nobody outside the intelligence community will ever know—because they’re secret!
Now all A-Space needs to do is collect friends, or collaboration, from foreign intelligence agencies. But according to Mr. Wertheimer, those overseas folks are the most virulently against sharing information through an “intelligence library”.
Can’t we all play together nicely? And maybe experiment in ways that we have never experimented before? Look at the positives…better communication!
What do you think?
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
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