In my last Blog post I shared some of Henry’s story of existential suffering and the feelings he expressed to his daughter in the time leading up to his death, and said I’d share some ideas for relieving mental suffering. Hearing the following reassurance from a physician or health care team, “My job is to […]

Henry is facing the reality that his existence in this world is about to end—he is terminally ill. As the weeks pass, he feels himself becoming weaker and realizes his time is short and his accomplishments are almost over. He can no longer control his own existence. It is an unavoidable loss. For several months […]

I think what is niggling away at me is seeing his suffering…that ultimate suffering that I know is leading to his death…a suffering that is painful to see in a family member. I don’t know when his end when arrive…but I know his train is on that track. He gave me the power to make […]

Terminally ill patients often see or talk to someone who has already died, have glimpses of “another world” or have feelings of being in “another place”.  This may happen several weeks before death.  Usually the dreams or feeling are comforting, but sometimes they create anxieties about mental dysfunction.  You need to provide reassurance that such experiences […]

What do you think was the most challenging aspect of this experience (of being with your dying loved one) for your children?   “Watching Dad gradually deteriorate and lose abilities that once allowed him his independence was very challenging. Knowing that I’d have to live the rest of my life without his laugh, affection, loving words […]

What was the most profound aspect of this experience for you?   “Being with him as he died. My daughter held his right hand, and I cut the cloth that kept his left hand from spasmodically striking him. We sang to him, prayed with him, blessed him and thanked him. When he breathed that last breath, […]

“The most challenging part of this experience is honoring my husband’s decision to die when I knew how much I would miss him.” ~ SHARON “For me the most challenging thing was watching Dad’s physical body struggle and slowly shut down as he prepared for death. His not being able to communicate verbally with us […]

“It is so hard to lose a parent. I’ve lost both of mine long ago, and now my children are losing me as I die of lung cancer. From the parent’s point of view, I can tell you that the only thing that matters to me is the expression of love from my family. It […]

“My brother and I were not told that our father was dying. We found out after he died that he and his wife had known for months in advance. This experience left my brother and me angry and sad. We felt like we have been cheated out of an opportunity for some meaningful last moments […]

Dying will touch all of us. It is an intimate and inevitable experience for us all…no matter how many people have touched our lives. And don’t we all want a compassionate, peaceful and gentle death? Yes, each of us wants to die well! With that in mind and given the opportunity, we can choose to […]