July is bereaved parents awareness month—a time when the spotlight is on us to reach out to bereaved parents and their families. We are encouraged to listen to them without advising them…to offer a shoulder to cry on…to give a hug when appropriate and needed…to be there for the bereaved. 

Bereaved parents are often trapped for years in the memories of their children’s lives. And for bystanders it’s often hard to know what to do to support parents who have lost their son or daughter.

A simple, “I’m sorry for your loss” can go a long way.

Also, hearing a positive impact or story that their child had, can help tremendously.

So don’t avoid the parents. Yes, the child’s death may make you very uncomfortable and it may make you contemplate the mortality of your own children. It’s okay for you to not know what to say or how to help. A listening ear may be what they need the most. 

The first year after a child’s death is the most difficult. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays will trigger pain and tears. Don’t avoid these dates…provide an opportunity for the parent to grieve and remember and not feel like they must hold the grief under control.

Be aware and provide support for both the health of the bereaved parents and their relationships.

Bereaved mothers and fathers experience more physical and emotional issues than do non-bereaved parents, including severe depression, mortality due to illness and suicide and failed marriages. Irreparable damage can be made to the family or their marriage. It is estimated that over 70% of marriages where a child has died, end in separation or divorce.

Read more about how to reach out to someone who has lost a child in death.

Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
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