Touching words from the mouth of a child: A four-year-old child had an elderly gentleman as a next-door neighbor. The gentleman had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said […]

The day before my father passed away he pulled me onto the bed with him and hugged me hard saying, “You need to understand.” I wasn’t sure specifically what he was referring to but I had several good ideas and all of them deserved a response from me of, “It’s OK Dad. I do understand.” […]

After celebrating Mom and Dad’s 68th anniversary and Mom’s 88th birthday in March (three months before Dad’s death), I told Dad I would plan a similar celebration for his upcoming 90th birthday in May. He looked at me and said, “Well, at least the important one was celebrated—Mom’s! And our anniversary!” I thought he was […]

My apologies to readers who have visited my Blog over the last week expecting to find new posts—I have not found the time (or more accurately, the desire) to write as I was dealing with an intense personal loss…that of my Father, plus the added sadness and stress of my mother’s health failing—now that her […]

Lou and Patricia DeMuro, both age 84, passed away on the same day, five hours apart, in two different locations in La Mesa after a 62-year marriage. The natives of Chicago enjoyed a fond companionship with each other, and neither wanted to live without the other. On the day before they died, their daughter Jan […]

As he faced the finality of death, it was natural for him to want to review the life he had lived—to look back and catalog his accomplishments and failures in life…financial, occupational, societal, and interpersonal—to understand the past—a final opportunity for him to resolve and come to understand the conflicts of earlier life. For him […]

In my last Blog post I shared some of Henry’s story of existential suffering and the feelings he expressed to his daughter in the time leading up to his death, and said I’d share some ideas for relieving mental suffering. Hearing the following reassurance from a physician or health care team, “My job is to […]

Henry is facing the reality that his existence in this world is about to end—he is terminally ill. As the weeks pass, he feels himself becoming weaker and realizes his time is short and his accomplishments are almost over. He can no longer control his own existence. It is an unavoidable loss. For several months […]

I think what is niggling away at me is seeing his suffering…that ultimate suffering that I know is leading to his death…a suffering that is painful to see in a family member. I don’t know when his end when arrive…but I know his train is on that track. He gave me the power to make […]

The elderly are often seen as a nuisance to treat in the hospital because (and I’ll quote something I recently heard in emergency after an elderly gentleman was sent there by ambulance from his care facility), “There are other people who stand a better chance than him and are in greater need [pointing to a […]