Death, dying and grieving are a natural part of life and sometimes our society doesn’t always do a good job of preparing people for facing their own deaths or the loss of loved ones. But the Lights of Life project (a tree lighting ritual that I participated in while I lived in Canada’s far north—Whitehorse, […]

On Tuesday a sentencing hearing will begin for Robert “Willie” Pickton, the man who was recently convicted of second-degree murder of the six women whose butchered remains were found on his pig farm. That verdict will certainly help the family move forward as they continue to grieve. And so will the victim impact statements they […]

  I’d like to think that what I’ve written will be a comfort or will help someone to not feel so alone in grief. Maybe part of my lesson in all of this is to always offer an ear to someone even when I don’t know if they need it and to sort of “check […]

When my sister, Cindy James, died, I found it hard to believe it was a reality—I was in shock and bathed in numbness, disbelief, denial (and eventually acceptance). When the numbness wore off I felt intense emotional pain and gut-wrenching emptiness (and it was scary) but I learned this was a natural, common, and healthy […]

  During my grieving, as I took a step and experienced a specific emotion (such as anger over the injustices bestowed upon Cindy and myself), I was learning something about myself, and growing and slowly healing and moving forward. Later on I revisited that anger for further healing but with a slightly different perspective with […]

During the processes of working through grief and writing the book, Who Killed My Sister, My Friend, I was awakened to a different level of awareness. My senses were heightened. I saw through different eyes. I was experiencing the darkness of humanity and existence yet I was opened up to the beauty around me! There […]

Writing is one of the powerful yet simple ways you can help yourself heal through grief. You can write sloppy or neat—it doesn’t matter. And this type of writing is just for you—so write freely without editorial judgment! Write a letter to the person who has died. Tell them what is in your heart. Tell […]

I recently received a copy of the 1991 W-5 coverage (a weekly public affairs TV program in Canada) about my sister’s case (the mysterious death of Cindy James), and viewed the segment for the first time ever. Even after having gone through the autopsy, toxicology and medical information and having read the police and medical […]

  EXTRA DOSES OF SMALL PLEASURES: walks in nature, favorite foods, naps, etc. GOALS AND ROUTINE: For a while, when it feels like life is meaningless, having something to look forward to – small goals (dinner with a friend, a movie, a trip, a golf game) – to help you get through the day. Activities […]

I was reading through chapter 3 (Finding Cindy’s Body) of my book, checking for an error before the formatting/layout is complete, and realized it has been eighteen years since Cindy’s death. When I glanced at the calendar I realized today is the 27th, and she had disappeared on the 25th of May in 1989. I […]