Dr. Robert Roerich (Founder of Roadmind University Online) uses a mental imagery technique called “The Road Interview”:
(You take a journey, with guided imagery or mental imagery, down a road.)
Take in the sights, sounds and colors, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing what is far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, color and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results.
What color is the road?
What texture is the road?
How solid is the road?
You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind; just imagine seeing yourself do it.
How do you cross the river?
What does the water look like?
How fast is the water current?
Is there anything in the water? If so, what?
You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.
What color is the house?
What condition is the house in?
Does anyone live in the house? If so, who?
We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it’s look, condition and contents.
What color is the cup?
What condition is the cup in?
Is there anything in the cup? If so, what?
You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.
What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail?
What do you see beyond the obstacle?
Take a break.
Now go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colors you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don’t look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one’s. Don’t attempt to find something that isn’t present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
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Do you have recurrent thoughts that intrude into your life and create emotional pain and stress?
Did you know that you can learn to control your thoughts and, by doing so, you can reduce your stress level?
Do you:
- Question yourself,
- Have doubts about the things you do or have done,
- Frequently think things will not get better…and may get worse,
- Have persistent thoughts that someone you know may be having an accident or getting injured somehow,
- Repeatedly think about failures,
- Think back on a task you completed and wonder how you could have done it better or different?
Do you want to eliminate your stressful thoughts? Are you committed to doing so? If you are serious about doing it then try the following:
Close your eyes and imagine a situation in which one of your stressful thoughts is likely to happen…but try interrupting your stressful thinking and replacing it with healthy thoughts.
Yes, interrupt those unpleasant thoughts by using an alarm clock set for 3 minutes—think about your stressful thought for the allotted time and when the bell goes off snap your fingers and shout, “Stop” and empty your mind of anxious thoughts (allow only neutral thoughts for half a minute).
Next time when you mull about a stressful thought shout, “Stop” and as you become successful stopping the negative thoughts say, “Stop” in your normal speaking voice, then in a whisper the next time and then imagine hearing yourself say “Stop.” (You may have to practice at each level before continuing, making sure you are able to actually stop the negative thought each time.)
(You could also have an elastic band around your wrist and snap it when an unwanted negative thought happens.)
Then when you are successful at stopping negative thoughts, think of some positive alternate statements you can say to yourself when you have the negative thought.
“I always give my best effort and that is good enough.”
“I accept the things I cannot control.”
“I am learning and growing.”
“I am stronger and more intelligent because of this.”
“I will focus on the awesome opportunities that are ahead.”
“I am industrious and continue to accomplish great things.”
“I will observe before reacting.”
“I am worthwhile, successful and happy.”
“I find things out when no clear answer is defined.”
“I can accomplish any task set out before me.”
“I am at peace.”
“My body heals quickly and easily.”
“Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul.”
“I am ready and willing to release the past.”
…
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
In my last Blog post I suggested some ways for coping with stress (walking, progressive muscle relaxation, daydreaming and guided imagery, meditation, and candle gazing).
But when you feel stressed and don’t have a lot of time on your hands, you can still de-stress with mini-relaxation breaks:
Take a few DEEP breaths periodically throughout the day. (Concentrate on expanding and widening your ribcage as you fill up your lungs—slowly inhale through your nose to the count of five, and let the air out of your mouth to the count of eight.)
Take time for a self-massage:
—Move your scalp slightly back and forth making circles with your fingertips (with your thumbs behind your ears and your fingers spread on top of your head). —Place your fingertips at your nose bridge and slowly slide your fingers down your nose and across the top of your cheekbones to the outside of your eyes. Repeat 4 times.
—Place your ring fingers under your eyebrows near the nose bridge and slowly increase the pressure for ten seconds and then release. Repeat 3 times.
—Give yourself a foot massage…gently stroke from the toes to the ankles, use a circular motion with a fist and move along the sole of each foot, squeeze and gently twist and stretch each toe, stroke around your ankle and up towards your leg and back to your toes…
—Rub the palms of your hands together quickly to build up heat and then place your hands and heated palms over your face and take deep breaths (taking air in through the nose, hold, and slowly release through the mouth).
In my next Blog post I’ll talk about reducing your stress by controlling your thoughts.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Sometimes negative personal stress can build up in your life until you feel overwhelmed!
Or you can go from a feeling of being calm to overwhelmed very quickly when several stressful events (such as: illness, death of a beloved, a cancer diagnosis, divorce, separation, hospitalization, injury, abuse, money problems, physical or social [humiliation, rejection, embarrassment] threats of danger…) happen at once.
Fear, worry and anxiety can lead to panic, irritability and more nervousness—you may be overly emotional and unable to sit still…or withdrawn, depressed, unemotional and lacking energy (your response is subjective—it differs for each of us).
But whatever your level of stress, there are ways you can cope:
Take a walk, either by yourself (and use positive self-talk in your head) or walk with a trusted friend (and share what’s happening in your life so you can get a different perspective). Exercise is a great stress reliever—it releases endorphins into your body AND helps you let off steam. By taking a walk you take yourself out of a stressful situation and return with a new frame of mind.
Take time to relax all your muscles in your body (tense and release all of your muscle groups with Progressive Muscle Relaxation).
Take a mental break and try to envision a relaxing scene (perhaps on a tropical beach or floating on cool, clear waters or a quiet place in the woods or a favorite childhood spot or sitting by a fire in a secluded snow cabin or a therapist’s chair or listening to soothing background music…) in which you feel at peace, free to let go of all tension and anxiety (use guided imagery…it’s like a vivid daydream. Stay in that scene as long as you like and enjoy your surroundings and when you are ready to come back to reality count back from twenty and tell yourself that when you get to one you’ll feel more calm and refreshed).
Or use mindfulness meditation (being fully engaged in the present moment) combined with an awareness of your breath.
And don’t forget about candle gazing—to create inner silence and peace.
In my next Blog post I’ll share how to take a mini-relaxation break. And I’ll talk about self-massage.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Having gone through this experience yourself, many of you truly understand what it is like…how tough it is to lose a parent…no matter what the circumstances and personal history.
And when you have been the caretaker and have seen your parent find peace, there is a wide array of feelings—sadness mixed with relief (which, if your parent was suffering, is actually an expression of your love for them), affection (mixed with resentments that completely wash away), and appreciation mixed with sharp criticism.
It can be difficult and depressing…an emotional roller coaster…to see someone you love slip away. (That’s why it’s so important to have supports around you and to take care of your mental and physical self.)
But it can also be an emotionally and spiritually rewarding experience if you are honest with your feelings and openly discuss them (thereby helping yourself put matters into perspective), and work to have a positive attitude.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
May you so live, within the Spirit that strives for Truth, And the Apprehension of Wisdom, that —
Whomsoever contacts you, will be strengthened;
Whomsoever calls to you in the darkness, will be answered;
Whomsoever gives to you of material, service, or money,
— Will be prospered.
And, should any seek to harm you at any time, may they so contact your thoughts of (God) Good, that they will be instantly healed of their error.
Thanks for sharing this benediction with me Roy.
May we all learn to live within this “BENEDICTION” which your Mom slipped into the Bible, which she gave to you when you left Egypt to join the Marauder Squadron in Italy in World War II.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
I miss you Dad. Thanks for the lessons. Throughout my life you gave me incredible lessons and strength.
I’ll always love you.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
After celebrating Mom and Dad’s 68th anniversary and Mom’s 88th birthday in March (three months before Dad’s death), I told Dad I would plan a similar celebration for his upcoming 90th birthday in May.
He looked at me and said, “Well, at least the important one was celebrated—Mom’s! And our anniversary!”
I thought he was telling me it wasn’t important for him to celebrate his own birthday. And frankly, I was surprised because I would have thought that turning 90 would be a big deal for anyone. But Dad knew he was running out of time.
A week later in March Dad tried calling my sister, Marlene, and I but both of us were not around. When I got home and called the nurse back, Dad was already in bed. She said Dad had wanted to tell us something—I thought perhaps it was the fact he was unable to walk anymore.
On my next visit with him at the end of March he was visibly weaker physically and had a wan, empty look in his eyes but mentally he was doing well so I was able to have great conversations with him, including about my upcoming book.
This was when he told me he had been feeling Cindy’s presence for months…and he told me her presence was getting stronger. For me that should have been a realization his death was approaching quickly because I couldn’t feel her presence at all. (I thought he still had a lot more time than he actually did. Even being at his bedside several days before he died, I still had no idea his end was about to come so quickly.)
He was comforted by the feeling of Cindy being near and was not at all disturbed by it. I can now see that he knew he was dying…and he was preparing and planning for it. (In fact he had started preparing for it many months before when he told me what he wanted to say in letters to each of his family members…in case he couldn’t say it to them in person…and what he wanted them to have that Christmas.)
In March we looked through his photo albums and began creating a scrapbook of his life.
Looking back on it all I see Dad taught me there is so much more to dying than the physical journey. I watched him work through his existential suffering and frustration while he declined and experienced greater limitations and dependency. I was blessed and honored to be a witness to his dying process—to share in his journey…to watch, to listen, to learn, to assist when and in whatever manner he needed, and to help him transition from this life.
I watched him find peace.
And watching him refuse pain medication those last days of his life, I knew he was strong…and was taking his illness gracefully.
He was ready to go.
I know he chose the moment of his dying because he waited until both my sister (Marlene) and I were at his bedside…just as he promised.
Dad taught me that there is nothing to fear in dying. And he taught me how to live.
His death was beautiful and peaceful and loving—certainly the way I would want to die.
Despite his peaceful and prepared death and knowing I was reconciled with what was happening, I still felt a great loss as grief settled into my heart after he left.
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
Perhaps death is liberation—freedom?
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James
“Cherish each hour of this day for it can never return.”
Melanie Hack
Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend
Read an excerpt now
TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James