The elderly are often seen as a nuisance to treat in the hospital because (and I’ll quote something I recently heard in emergency after an elderly gentleman was sent there by ambulance from his care facility), “There are other people who stand a better chance than him and are in greater need [pointing to a […]

Here’s a myth you may have heard expressed in the following ways: “Everyone dies, and people who have lived a long, full life are expected to die. You’re a grown–up. You shouldn’t be so upset when your parent dies because you knew it was coming.” Or, “Be glad he lived a long, full life.” And […]

There will be several changes in a person’s body when the dying process has started: They might not want anything to eat or drink. (This is completely normal—their body doesn’t need any nutrition at this time.) If they refuse to eat or drink they might like to have their mouth moistened—there are swabs available to […]

The one who is dying wants to know they’re not alone. It’s up to you to tell them in as many ways as you can. (Even a loved one who is deteriorating may not know what is happening.) Companionship matters more than what you do. Help the person create a way to be remembered—perhaps by […]

Treat your beloved with dignity and grace to the end. Melanie Hack Author of Who Killed My Sister, My friend Read an excerpt now TV Shows and Clips about the Death of Cindy James

Here are some ideas for reaching out and connecting to someone who’s dying. Connect by talking. As an equal, person to person, face to face. Say what you think. Express what you feel. If the dying person is slow to open up, don’t push them. Just let them know you’re ready to move to a […]

Do you have preconceptions about what dying people are like? Expect them to live until they die…then let them do precisely that! The one who’s dying needs you to reach out because those who know they’re dying may hesitate to voice their deeper thoughts and feelings. And because they’re often afraid of upsetting the people […]

There’s a tendency to treat dying people differently: Voices are often lowered. People’s faces may appear overly somber or they may take on a false cheeriness. Topics of conversation become more limited and some things are no longer talked about at all. As a result, the dying person may feel they’re being pushed to one […]

As I mentioned in my last Blog post, if your loved one is dying you may be going through a whole lot of emotions (guilt, anger, frustration, sadness…), feeling overwhelmed with questions (of what to say, how to act, wondering what will happen), and stressing about responsibilities and another concerns (finances, career, family…). Here are […]

Someone you love is dying. It hardly seems possible. It hurts. It hurts to see them go through what they’re going through. It hurts that you cannot protect them, that you cannot change their outcome. It hurts to feel all that you feel. It feels as if a part of you is dying too. You […]