When someone you love dies (or when you feel a tremendous loss), everything changes—your hopes, your dreams, your way of living…everything—it’s as if you are closed off, living in a parallel universe and from your perch you are watching everyone else living. Cindy knew what that felt like. To her journal she shared how vivid […]

“Some people may not realize this, but many of us seem to be doing much better on the outside than we are on the inside. I, for one, am tired of people saying, ‘You are doing so well with getting on with your life.’ “If they only knew what a wreck I am on the […]

If you want to understand bereavement, you need to realize there is a difference between grief and mourning. Grief is a person’s internal experience, thoughts and feelings related to the experience of a great loss. Mourning is the external expression of one’s grief. So, a person may experience extremely painful grief but, because of a […]

A few days ago my eleven-year-old son decided to learn how to juggle. He was a bit nervous and overwhelmed but determined to use his apprehension to energize himself. He didn’t worry about if he could do it or not, and he didn’t worry about how long it would take…he just dove in because he […]

Your sleep patterns often change when you grieve—While some people sleep more, most people will have trouble sleeping. The day after first hearing my sister Cindy was missing, I made my first entry in my journal: “I’m worried sick about Cindy and I had a hard time sleeping.” Then when Cindy’s body was found (June […]

You can end up on a downward spiral and blame yourself for what happened, telling yourself you should have known (“Why didn’t I…” “If only…” “I should have…”). You think you let the person down and the guilt rips at you until you think it will destroy you. So you start to abuse yourself – […]

Let me come in where you are weeping, friend, And let me take your hand. I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand. Let me come in–I would be very still beside you in your grief; I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend, Tears bring relief. Let me come in–and […]

If you haven’t cried as an expression of your grief and you have a lot of pent up emotions, try it…see how it feels. Chances are you’ll feel better. It doesn’t mean you are weak if you cry. Crying isn’t just for babies. You won’t get hysterical. Your body will know when to stop: Right […]

When I was grieving the death of my sister Cindy I rarely allowed myself to cry during the day when I was in public or had to meet someone. If I was in front of other people, I held back (I felt vulnerable, uncomfortable, exposed). And if I held back for an extended period of […]

After my sister, Cindy James (Cynthia Hack), died, I cried a lot of emotional tears, and at unexpected times: When I wrote to a family member or a friend and “talked” about Cindy or how I’d changed as a result of her death or what I’d learned. When I did something that I knew Cindy […]